Acquisitions Memes

Posts tagged with Acquisitions

Microsoft's Acquisition Hunger Games

Microsoft's Acquisition Hunger Games
Microsoft's corporate strategy in a nutshell: "Haven't bought anything in a few months? Time to assimilate another company!" The meme perfectly captures Microsoft's notorious habit of solving boredom by acquiring everything in sight. From GitHub to LinkedIn to Activision Blizzard, their boardroom meetings must have a big red "ACQUIRE" button that executives slam whenever quarterly profits look too predictable. The alien overlord commanding "Begin the acquisition process" is basically Satya Nadella after his morning coffee, scanning the tech landscape for the next victim—I mean, "strategic partnership opportunity."

The Usual Suspects

The Usual Suspects
OMG! It's the classic Scooby-Doo villain reveal, but make it GAMING INDUSTRY TRAUMA! 💀 Fred yanks off the ghost sheet to reveal—GASP—it was Nintendo all along behind those European video game companies getting bought out and destroyed! Meanwhile, EA, Sony, Microsoft, and Ubisoft lurk in the background like the shady corporate vultures they are. The audacity! The betrayal! The absolute CARNAGE of beloved studios being consumed by these gaming overlords! And here we thought we were getting original content when it was just the same five companies in different trench coats this ENTIRE TIME!

The Invisible Benefits Package

The Invisible Benefits Package
The punchline is literally invisible! That empty pie chart with no legend entries matching the colorful segments is the perfect representation of corporate buyout promises. You're looking at a graph where the colored sections (red, green, blue, yellow) don't correspond to any of the listed benefits (salary, wellness, mental health, confidence). It's like when management promises "synergy" and "exciting opportunities" but delivers... *gestures vaguely at nothing*. The technical term for this is "data visualization gore" and any engineer who's survived an acquisition knows exactly what those missing legend colors actually represent: anxiety, overtime, and updating your resume while pretending to be in a Zoom meeting.