Static analysis Memes

Posts tagged with Static analysis

Code Analyzer Lore

Code Analyzer Lore
First frame: Raging at a linter suggestion to replace new String().getClass() with String.class because "nobody writes code like this." Second frame: Complete attitude reversal after hearing why the rule exists, suddenly claiming to have "seen such things 11 times, as a matter of fact." The duality of developers: loudly rejecting best practices until the moment they realize they've been writing garbage code their entire career. Then suddenly they were the code quality champion all along! The mental gymnastics deserve an Olympic gold medal.

Please Use Static Analysis On Your C++ Codebase

Please Use Static Analysis On Your C++ Codebase
The eternal struggle between C++ developers and management in one perfect image. The developer is begging for static analysis tools while management responds with the programming equivalent of "thoughts and prayers." Because why fix bugs before they happen when you can just blame the dev team later? Static analysis would catch those memory leaks faster than management catches excuses for why the project is six months behind schedule. But sure, let's keep pretending that manually reviewing 500,000 lines of code is a viable strategy.

The SonarQube Ambush

The SonarQube Ambush
The soul-crushing TRAUMA of completing all your pull request tasks only to be AMBUSHED by SonarQube's code quality checks! ๐Ÿ˜ฑ There you are, thinking you're DONE, ready to push that glorious code... and BOOM! SonarQube shows up like an uninvited party guest screaming about your 47 code smells, 12 vulnerabilities, and that ONE line where you dared to use a deprecated method. The audacity! Your perfectly functional code is now apparently a CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY because you didn't follow some arbitrary coding standard that nobody mentioned until NOW. And fixing these issues? Just kiss your weekend goodbye, honey! ๐Ÿ’…

Please Use Static Analysis On Your C++ Codebase

Please Use Static Analysis On Your C++ Codebase
The desperate plea of every C++ senior developer who's died inside after finding yet another memory leak that static analysis would have caught three months ago. Meanwhile, the junior devs are gesturing wildly with excuses like "but it compiles fine" and "we don't have time for that." The codebase is probably one segfault away from summoning demons through the stack overflow portal.