They Think They Are Doing It Right

The startup dev experience in one image! That moment when you realize you're not just writing code—you're also the DevOps engineer, QA tester, product manager, and somehow also handling customer support tickets. Nothing says "we're scaling fast" like having one developer frantically juggling the entire tech stack while the founders are busy pitching to VCs. The mythical "full-stack" developer finally revealed: it's just one sleep-deprived person with 17 different Slack channels open and an IV drip of espresso.

The brutal truth nobody asked for but everyone needed to hear. When you assign blame for that spaghetti code disaster to the innocent intern who just started last week, you're not being clever—you're just being a jerk with commit access. Nothing says "I'm professionally insecure" quite like making someone else the scapegoat for your 3 AM caffeine-fueled coding abomination. The git blame command exists for justice, not for your workplace pranks.

Student mode: *frantically types for 12 hours straight, fueled by pure caffeine and existential dread, produces an entire full-stack application with authentication, database migrations, and a responsive UI* Professional mode: *writes 20 lines of code* "Well, that's my entire week's productivity quota met. Time to attend 47 meetings about why we need meetings." The transformation from eager student grinding out thousands of lines to burnt-out professional who considers writing a single function a Herculean achievement is REAL. You go from building Rome in a day to needing a sprint planning session just to rename a variable. Character development at its finest! 💀

Project managers choosing to draw 25 UNO cards rather than upgrade to Python 3 is the tech equivalent of saying "I'd rather eat glass." Python 2 reached end-of-life in 2020, but some companies are still clinging to it like it's the last bottle of water in a desert. The technical debt keeps piling up while managers keep muttering "but it works fine" through gritted teeth. Meanwhile, developers silently contemplate career changes.

When the junior dev runs git push --force and the entire codebase history gets obliterated. That exit sign is basically your team's sanity making a swift departure. Seven years of commit history? Gone. Just like those doors. This is why we have code reviews and branch protection rules, folks. Not because we don't trust you, but because we've all been that person who thought "yeah, I know what I'm doing" right before disaster struck.

The infamous "quick fix" that's been running in production for 7 years. The duct tape solution that outlasted three CTOs. The "I'll refactor this next sprint" code that's now supporting your company's entire revenue stream. It's the programming equivalent of putting a book under that wobbly table leg and then forgetting about it until it becomes structural support. The irony is exquisite - our industry runs on "temporary" hacks that somehow survive nuclear apocalypses while meticulously architected systems get scrapped after six months.