Security breach Memes

Posts tagged with Security breach

I Love Optimization (That Makes Security Experts Cry)

Databases Security Programming Backend

2 days ago 90.5K views 0 shares

I Love Optimization (That Makes Security Experts Cry)

Ah, the "optimization" that makes security professionals wake up screaming! This tweet is showcasing the database equivalent of putting all your eggs in one extremely flammable basket. Sure, they reduced storage from 100GB to 3GB by centralizing all passwords with foreign key references. But they've also created the ultimate security nightmare - one breach and all passwords are compromised. Not to mention they're enabling password reuse, which is like using "password123" as your bank PIN, email password, and nuclear launch code. That 97GB reduction is going to cost them approximately $10 million in breach notification costs. Such efficiency!

The Unpaid Intern's Parting Gift

Security Devops Git Programming Cloud

9 days ago 190.8K views 0 shares

The Unpaid Intern's Parting Gift

Ah, the classic revenge of the unpaid intern! When your company thinks exposure is a valid form of payment, but you're leaving with something far more valuable—their API key. Nothing says "thanks for the experience" quite like committing sensitive credentials to a public repository on your way out. It's the digital equivalent of taking the office stapler, except this one could cost them thousands in unauthorized AWS charges. Remember kids: proper credential management isn't just good practice, it's also why you should probably pay your developers.

Zero Factor Authentication: When Screen Recording Meets Security

Security Programming

2 months ago 146.0K views 0 shares

Zero Factor Authentication: When Screen Recording Meets Security

Ah, the pinnacle of security engineering – displaying the verification code right in the screenshot. Multi-factor authentication? Nah, let's go with zero-factor! Just broadcast your 6-digit code to whoever's recording your screen. That smug arms-crossed pose is the universal "I've made some questionable decisions but I'm standing by them" stance that every dev adopts right before production goes down. Next up: storing passwords in a public GitHub repo called "definitely-not-passwords".

Security Engineer's Worst Nightmare

Security Programming

4 months ago 127.8K views 0 shares

Security Engineer's Worst Nightmare

A physical password logbook? In 2023? Might as well put your house keys under the doormat and call it "advanced security." This floral notebook is basically a burglar's dream journal - all your digital keys neatly organized in one convenient, stealable package. The security equivalent of storing nuclear launch codes on a Post-it note stuck to your monitor. Meanwhile, every security engineer who sees this just died a little inside. Seven years of implementing zero-trust architecture and someone's grandma is keeping her banking password next to her Pinterest login in a cute little book from Target.

The Kernel Has Been Breached

Linux Security Devops Programming

4 months ago 154.6K views 0 shares

The Kernel Has Been Breached

The punchline here is a brilliant double entendre on the word "kernel." In the Linux world, the kernel is the core component of the operating system that manages system resources. But in nature, squirrels are notorious for breaching nuts and their kernels! The expressions are perfect - Linux core developers looking absolutely horrified at their precious kernel being compromised, while squirrels have that smug "yeah, I did it" face. It's basically the software equivalent of finding out your meticulously crafted sandcastle got demolished by a hyperactive toddler. Fun fact: The Linux kernel has over 27.8 million lines of code, which would be one extremely large nut for even the most determined squirrel.

Last Day Of Unpaid Internship

Security Devops Programming Cloud

5 months ago 230.8K views 0 shares

Last Day Of Unpaid Internship

THE ULTIMATE REVENGE PLOT! Behold the glorious moment of sweet, sweet vengeance as our unpaid intern commits the cardinal sin of tech - exposing the company's API key to the ENTIRE INTERNET! 💅 That's right, honey! After months of free labor and "experience," they're leaving a parting gift that'll have the senior devs SCREAMING at 2AM when the AWS bill hits astronomical levels. The digital equivalent of burning the building down on your way out. Petty? Perhaps. Justified? ABSOLUTELY. Now some random hacker can enjoy all those premium services the company was too cheap to pay their interns for!

Credential Cycling Catastrophe

Cloud Security Devops Programming

6 months ago 239.9K views 0 shares

Credential Cycling Catastrophe

Ah, the classic "$10,000/hour AWS bill of doom" scenario! This comic perfectly captures that moment when you realize your AWS keys have been chilling in public longer than that Minecraft world you've been building. 🙃 The best part? That well-meaning onboarding where someone tells you to rotate keys every "3-6 months" and you're like "totally, absolutely, 100%" while mentally filing that under "things I'll definitely forget until catastrophe strikes." Cloud security is just like flossing - everyone knows they should do it regularly, but somehow we're all too busy playing Minecraft to remember until our teeth (or AWS account) are on fire. 🔥💸

When You Still Have Slack

Security Networking Devops Programming

6 months ago 224.3K views 1 shares

When You Still Have Slack

That awkward moment when IT forgets to revoke your Slack access after firing you, and now you're lurking in the shadows like Goku plotting his revenge. Time to watch your ex-coworkers panic when you drop the "I can see all your messages about the production server being down" bomb. Nothing says professional closure like witnessing your replacement struggle with the codebase you deliberately left undocumented. Digital ghost mode: ACTIVATED .