Pure functions Memes

Posts tagged with Pure functions

Stop Doing Haskell: When Math Professors Attack
Programming Algorithms Math
10 hours ago 43.3K views 0 shares
Stop Doing Haskell: When Math Professors Attack
Functional programming purists have gone too far! While we're all using CONST to make variables immutable, Haskell folks are over here with their monads, currying, and type signatures that look like hieroglyphics from an alien civilization. The beauty of this rant is that it perfectly captures the existential crisis of every developer who's peeked into Haskell's mathematical purity only to back away slowly. "Hello I would like [1,2...] apples please" - because apparently ordering groceries requires a PhD in category theory now. Those code snippets with question marks are the programming equivalent of opening a physics textbook to a random page and questioning your career choices. The mathematicians have indeed played us for absolute fools!

Consult Your Category Theorist If Side Effects Persist
Programming Algorithms Math Javascript Databases
21 days ago 66.4K views 0 shares
Consult Your Category Theorist If Side Effects Persist
Ah, functional programming's miracle drug! FUNCTIONEX (with its fancy lambda symbol) promises to cure your codebase of those nasty impurities. Just 45mg of pure functions and your spaghetti code will transform into a mathematical paradise! But watch out for those side effects! While your category theorist prescribed this to keep your functions pure, you might experience unexpected symptoms like actually having to write to files or databases. The horror! Functional purists are currently filing a class action lawsuit because nobody warned them they'd still need to interact with the real world occasionally.

The Unholy Alliance: Functional Programmers Meet Anarchists
Programming Javascript
28 days ago 63.6K views 0 shares
The Unholy Alliance: Functional Programmers Meet Anarchists
OMFG, the functional programming zealots and political anarchists have formed an UNHOLY ALLIANCE! Both screaming "NO CLASS, NO STATE" but for ENTIRELY different reasons! 😱 Functional programmers are over here having existential meltdowns if a function dares to remember ANYTHING between calls, while anarchists are plotting the downfall of government structures. The fact they found common ground in this epic handshake is the most chaotic crossover since pineapple met pizza! Pure functions or pure chaos—either way, someone's world order is getting DESTROYED! 💥

Array Dot Reverse Have Sealed Your Fate Brendan Eich
Javascript React Typescript Programming Debugging
1 month ago 95.0K views 0 shares
Array Dot Reverse Have Sealed Your Fate Brendan Eich
This meme is hitting JavaScript developers right where it hurts! The title "Array.reverse Have Sealed Your Fate Brendan Eich" is a direct callout to the creator of JavaScript himself. The cardinal sin being mocked here is writing methods that mutate the original array AND return the same instance - like our beloved villain Array.reverse() . It's the programming equivalent of changing someone's furniture around while they're in the bathroom and then gaslighting them about it. Pure functions? Never heard of her. These mutating methods are why senior devs wake up in cold sweats at 3 AM screaming "IMMUTABILITY!" before checking their git history. Even God himself (or at least a cartoon deity with an impressive beard) has reserved a special place in programmer hell for the perpetrators. Not just regular hell - the boiler room. Where they'll probably be forced to debug Internet Explorer compatibility issues for eternity.