Client-requests Memes

Posts tagged with Client-requests

Create More Work

Create More Work
Ah, the classic developer trap. Client says "just change this one button color" and suddenly you're staring at 5-year-old legacy code thinking "who wrote this abomination and why did they hate future-me so much?" That innocent "simple change request" always reveals the technical debt lurking in the shadows, and before you know it, you've convinced yourself that rewriting the entire module is the only reasonable option. The real joke? Your estimation of "2 hours" just became "2 weeks" and management still doesn't understand why.

User-Friendly! (Just Like A Kitchen Knife)

User-Friendly! (Just Like A Kitchen Knife)
Ah yes, the classic "user-friendly" legacy code. When clients say they want to keep their ancient framework because it's "user-friendly," what they really mean is "this knife will kill you slowly instead of quickly." After 15 years in this industry, I've learned that "user-friendly" is code for "we've already memorized all the horrible workarounds." The only thing friendly about that framework is that it consistently lets you know it wants to stab you in the back. Pro tip: When a client insists on keeping something this dangerous, just quadruple your hourly rate. Either you'll get rich or they'll suddenly discover the magic of modern frameworks.

Just Say Fkn Remove It

Just Say Fkn Remove It
Oh, the sacred developer ritual of feature toggles! You spent 3 weeks implementing that beautiful, elegant feature with perfect test coverage and documentation. Your code is your baby. Then the client casually asks, "Can we just have a switch to turn it off?" PAIN. The worst part? Deep down you know they'll never actually use it, but you still have to set it to false by default because "business requirements." That cat's teary eyes represent every developer who's had to wrap their masterpiece in if(featureEnabled) blocks while silently whispering "just say you want to remove it entirely, you coward."