Client-requests Memes

Clock But A Virus Prevents It From Rendering

4 days ago 148.1K views 0 shares

Clock But A Virus Prevents It From Rendering

Look at this masterpiece of minimalist rendering. When your client says "I want a clock but I don't want to pay for the hands or numbers" and you deliver exactly what they asked for. The classic "works on my machine" meets "technically meets requirements." Somewhere, a product manager is furiously writing a more detailed spec while a developer is arguing that this is clearly a feature, not a bug. Time is just a social construct anyway.

Can You Write Code For This? He Was So Nice

Programming Algorithms Windows Python Debugging

10 days ago 92.8K views 2 shares

Can You Write Code For This? He Was So Nice

The classic "non-programmer thinks it's a simple task" scenario! Client wants code that converts text numbers to digits, providing two examples with a cute heart emoji. Seems innocent enough... Then there's our hero, Leo, with the masterpiece solution: if-else statements that handle exactly those two examples, and if anything else comes in? os.remove("C:\Windows\System32") - because why debug when you can just nuke the entire operating system? This is basically every freelancer's intrusive thought when a client says "it should be easy for someone with your skills" right before describing a natural language processing problem that would require a PhD thesis to solve properly.

Me Vs Client: The Small Change Apocalypse

Programming Webdev Agile Debugging Frontend

2 months ago 202.9K views 0 shares

Me Vs Client: The Small Change Apocalypse

The AUDACITY of clients to call their soul-crushing, architecture-destroying requests "just a small change"! 💀 Meanwhile, there I am, completely rewriting the entire codebase, questioning my career choices, and contemplating a new life as a goat farmer because their "tiny tweak" just demolished three weeks of work. The look on my face says it all - this is my villain origin story in four panels! That helpless shrug at the end? That's me accepting my fate while my git history weeps in the background.

Make The Random Function More Random

Programming Agile Algorithms Debugging

2 months ago 282.4K views 1 shares

Product manager: "The random function isn't random enough." Developer: "What does that even mean?" PM: "It needs to be more random. Make it randomier." The number of times I've had to explain that pseudorandom number generators are deterministic by design is directly proportional to my growing collection of gray hairs. Next they'll ask for the random function to generate numbers they personally like better.

The CRUD Simplification Nightmare

Backend Webdev Programming Databases

3 months ago 194.9K views 0 shares

The AUDACITY of non-technical people thinking they can just waltz in and demand simplified CRUD operations! Like honey, I didn't spend 5 years learning database normalization and transaction isolation levels just to send you a "D" for delete! My soul DIES a little when someone reduces my beautiful RESTful API architecture to single-letter commands. The blank stare is my spiritual response to such blasphemy - it's either that or explain why your request would make the entire system collapse faster than my will to live during a production outage at 2AM.

A Terrible Dream For Frontend Devs

Frontend Webdev React Javascript Programming

3 months ago 163.4K views 0 shares

That moment when the client shows off their new 86-inch ultra-wide monitor and your responsive design sweats nervously in the background. Five years of media queries and you still didn't prepare for THIS edge case. Tomorrow's standup will be fun: "So yeah, turns out our beautiful UI looks like a stretched piece of gum on the CEO's new ridiculous display." The best part? They'll blame the framework, not the absurdity of coding for every possible screen dimension known to mankind.

When You Finally Stop Arguing With The Client

Programming Webdev Agile Frontend Backend

4 months ago 143.2K views 0 shares

When You Finally Stop Arguing With The Client

The client wanted a swimming pool on top of a bridge? Sure, why not! That moment when you've spent 17 meetings explaining why their request violates physics, architecture, and common sense—but eventually you just cave and implement their exact specs. The bridge didn't collapse (yet), so technically it's a success! The client's bizarre requirements are now immortalized in concrete and chlorine for all satellite images to capture. Remember folks: sometimes the path of least resistance is just building the damn thing and waiting for reality to deliver the post-mortem.

I Want Some Changes

Frontend Webdev Agile React Programming

7 months ago 165.0K views 0 shares

The initial joy when a client approves your design is like that brief moment between deployments when everything works perfectly. Then comes the inevitable "but I want some changes" and suddenly you're Iron Man after the battle—broken, defeated, and questioning your life choices. The real superpower isn't coding—it's maintaining your will to live after the 47th round of "minor tweaks" that somehow involve rebuilding the entire architecture.

Clean Code Only Works Until Requirements Change

Programming Agile Debugging Testing

7 months ago 149.3K views 0 shares

Clean Code Only Works Until Requirements Change

Ah, the classic tale of software development lifecycle. Panel 1: A beautiful, organized tree structure representing clean, modular code. Everyone's happy. Panel 2: The client utters those fatal words about needing a function to do "something in this place." Panel 3: Nuclear explosion. Your pristine architecture doesn't survive first contact with changing requirements. You wrote a masterpiece that handles A through Y perfectly, but the moment someone asks for Z, the whole codebase collapses like a house of cards built by a caffeinated squirrel. And that, kids, is why we drink.

Actual Conversation At Work

Backend Programming Databases

7 months ago 136.9K views 0 shares

Ah, the classic collision of real-world terminology and software profanity filters. Some poor developer is stuck between a legitimate business need (a slaughterhouse's "Boner" job title) and their overzealous content filter that's flagging it as inappropriate. The desperate plea to "switch this feature off in the backend" is the digital equivalent of asking your parents to let you stay up past bedtime because "this is different!" After 15 years in this industry, I can guarantee the response will be either "that's a production config, absolutely not" or "sure, we'll add it to the backlog" (translation: never happening). Meanwhile, the slaughterhouse workers are probably wondering why tech people can't understand that bones need removing.

Responsive Design Nightmare

Frontend Webdev React Programming

7 months ago 166.0K views 1 shares

Client: "We need a mobile-friendly interface." Developer: "Sure, let me just shrink this nuclear power plant control room to fit on your iPhone." Nothing says responsive design quite like trying to cram 500 critical buttons, 47 status monitors, and enough blinking lights to cause a seizure into a 6-inch screen. I'm sure users will love pinch-zooming to avoid triggering a meltdown!

Sales Promised Impossible Features Again

Programming Agile Debugging

7 months ago 182.7K views 0 shares

Sales Promised Impossible Features Again

The eternal battle between sales and development continues! Here we have an airplane-cruise ship hybrid monstrosity representing client requests that defy the laws of physics, software engineering, and common sense. Every developer has been there: Sales comes barging in asking why you can't implement features that would require rewriting the entire codebase, inventing new programming languages, and possibly breaking several fundamental laws of computer science. Meanwhile, the actual request is like asking for a vehicle that's simultaneously a 747 and a cruise ship. Sure, I'll just quickly refactor the laws of aerodynamics and buoyancy during my lunch break! And you need it by Friday, right?

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