Regression

You're innocently working on line 6061, making some small change to a function, when suddenly you need to jump to the implementation. Your IDE dutifully takes you there... and you land on line 19515. That sinking feeling in your stomach? That's the realization that you're now deep in a 13,000+ line file that someone (probably you six months ago) promised to refactor "later." Nothing says "technical debt" quite like a single file that could double as a novella. At this point, you're not even mad—just impressed that your IDE hasn't crashed yet. Time to add another TODO comment and pretend you didn't see it.

When Google announced Kotlin as the official Android language, Java devs had a collective meltdown. "It's basically Python but with Java's job security!" they screamed, desperately clinging to their verbose syntax like it's 1999. The smug look in that last panel says it all - nothing triggers a Java developer quite like mentioning a language where you don't need 47 lines of boilerplate to print "Hello World." The language war continues, and the semicolons are flying!

Every mobile dev's nightmare in one perfect snippet! 😂 The code shows a mobile app that's determined to drain your battery no matter what. If you have internet? Drain battery. No internet? STILL drain battery. There's literally no escape route for your poor phone's battery life. The irony is that while Kotlin was supposed to make Android development more elegant and efficient, many apps still end up as battery vampires regardless of connection status. It's the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" school of mobile development. And let's be honest - this is why your phone is at 20% by lunchtime even though you've barely touched it. Your apps are having a battery-draining party in your pocket, and you weren't even invited!

Ah yes, the classic "$800,000 bootcamp" that promises to transform you into a software engineer in just 3 months by teaching you *checks notes* approximately 87 programming languages, including some that barely exist anymore. Nothing says "legitimate education" like cramming Fortran, COBOL, and Assembly alongside React and TypeScript into 90 days. The "if you can't find a job you can spit on our faces" guarantee is the cherry on top of this scam sundae. Spoiler alert: The only thing you'll master in 3 months is how to lose $800K faster than a startup with free snacks and ping pong tables.

When GitHub Copilot generates your data class and decides to nest variables like Russian dolls. That's not a class, it's a family tree of Strings going back 17 generations. Somewhere in that code is the String that contains the meaning of life, but you'll need to scroll for 3 days to find it. Enterprise software at its finest—where simplicity goes to die.

You want to make a game? Cool! You're using Java? Great choice! Oh wait, you're using Gradle as your build tool? Say hello to your new full-time job: deciphering cryptic dependency resolution errors that read like ancient hieroglyphics written by a caffeinated elephant. The Gradle elephant starts off looking all cute and friendly, but then it transforms into this nightmare creature that throws walls of red text at you. "Failed to resolve all artifacts for configuration 'classpath'" – yeah, thanks buddy, super helpful. Nothing says "fun game development" quite like spending 6 hours debugging your build system instead of actually building your game. The best part? The error message is longer than your actual game code. Gradle's basically that friend who can't give you simple directions and instead explains the entire history of the road system.