Recursive Killing

Content Fullstack developer requirements: let releaseDates javascript: new Date( 'December 4, 1995"), angular: new Date( 'September 14, 2016'), python: new Date( 'February 20, 1991'), sql: new Date('1979'), function getYearsSinceRelease( releaseDate) let today new Date() let timeDiff today. getTime() - releaseDate.getTime() let yearsDiff Math. floor(timeDiff (1000 60 60 24 365)) return yearsDiff for (let key in releaseDates) console. log( - getYearsSinceRelease(releaseDates key) 1 years of experience with key Output: - 29 years of experience with javascript - 8 years of experience with angular 33 years of experience with python 46 years of experience with sql

Content Dad: Why are your eyes red son? Son: I smoke weed Dad: Don't lie, you're crying because you have been coding in JavaScript Code hub

Left side: if (x) - Clean, elegant, gets the job done. The face of a developer who writes efficient code and doesn't waste keystrokes. Right side: if (x == true) - The haunting visage of someone who also types "ATM machine" and enters their "PIN number" at the "LCD display." Probably uses light mode in their IDE too. The explicit comparison is redundant since the condition already evaluates to a boolean. It's like ordering a "hamburger with meat" - we know, that's what makes it a hamburger.

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Ah, the family tree of dependency hell! Just like how you can't exist without Mom and Dad, and they somehow need you to function (especially when they need tech support), your code shouldn't form these ridiculous loops either. This is basically every developer justifying their spaghetti architecture with "but it works in real life!" Sure, and my code works on my machine too. Doesn't mean it's not a disaster waiting to happen when someone else tries to untangle your family issues—I mean, dependencies.

The ultimate tech interview gauntlet: survive 16 mini-interviews, 2 background checks, and 4 programming tests only to be rewarded with... centering a div. Classic FANG move! Nothing says "welcome to the big leagues" like immediately facing CSS's final boss. Congrats on your $250k salary package—hope you remembered how to use display: flex and justify-content: center without Googling it!