Naming Your Child After Your Favorite Data Format

Content r just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as Linux, is in fact, GNULinux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX. Mary computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called "Linux," and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GN system, developed by the GNU Project. There redly is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use.

Content Virgin API Consumer JSON Fears HTML Limited to the what the API can do Has to identify himself even for read-only APIs API Provider takes away his endpoint 429 Too Many Requests Has to worry about quota Thinks that he is making his life easier begs his users for auth API keys data is 10 minutes behind has to verify his email, phone, driver's license, ssn, dna sample has to agree to Terms of Service and follow the the rules Tokens Chad third-party scraper follows no rules, doesn't agree to any terms of service Luminati scrapes so fast the backend crashes Se has no limitations can access any data he wancs entire industries are dedicated to stopping him website thinks his user agent is a phone Doesn't care about changes in policies Even Javascript can't stop him OR. pays laborers to solve captchas doesn't even have a phone number guests. can work anonymously parses HTML with regex MULLVAD SMSPVA 2Captcha his business is profitable Can do whatever he wants millions of engineer hours, still can't stop him from scraping promising career at high-frequency trading firm musc scrabes in his spare time

The cosmic weight scale has a new champion! While astronomers worry about black holes and neutron stars, developers know the true gravitational monsters: Python virtual environments, Node modules, and PyTorch/CUDA installations. Nothing collapses spacetime quite like waiting for npm install to finish or watching your disk space vanish as PyTorch downloads half the internet. At least black holes have the decency to be millions of light years away—your Python venv is right there, crushing your hard drive and your spirits simultaneously.

Listen, there are certain sacred traditions in coding that you just don't question. Using i and j as loop variables isn't a choice—it's practically written in the ancient scrolls of computer science. Passed down from the FORTRAN elders to every generation since. Try using pancake and waffle as your nested loop variables during a code review and watch your senior dev have an existential crisis. The programming gods will smite you with merge conflicts for the rest of eternity. Sure, we could use more descriptive variable names, but that would be... reasonable? And we can't have that. IT'S THE LAW!

When the product manager says "just make it WCAG compliant" and the dev team has a deadline tomorrow. That ramp is about as functional as my error handling—technically present but practically useless. The classic "it works on my machine" approach to accessibility! Reminds me of those CSS hacks we all write at 11:59 PM before a launch—technically passes the automated tests but would make any UX designer have an existential crisis.

The greatest honeypot for developers: a bot account with an attractive profile pic posting "Invalid JSON" in the comments. Watch as hordes of engineers frantically rush to explain what's wrong with the JSON, only to realize they've been bamboozled by the oldest trick in the book—a pretty avatar. The digital equivalent of dropping your ice cream while staring at someone cute.