it's just a joke guys...!

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of Python using a plain TEXT file for dependencies! 💀 JavaScript developers clutching their precious package.json files like it's the holy grail, only to discover Python developers are out here living like BARBARIANS with requirements.txt! It's like discovering your sophisticated neighbor who judges your IKEA furniture actually sleeps on a MATTRESS ON THE FLOOR. The betrayal! The drama! The simplicity that somehow... just... works?!

Ever wondered why your laptop fans sound like they're preparing for liftoff? Look no further than your node_modules folder! While your actual code might be a svelte stormtrooper, those dependencies are an absolute unit that would make the Death Star blush. 500 lines of your code somehow requires 500MB of someone else's code. And heaven forbid you run npm install on a weak WiFi connection – you could literally go make a sandwich, watch a Star Wars trilogy, and come back to find it still downloading the "essential" packages needed to center a div.

Job listings these days are basically a tech buzzword bingo card. Left side: backend technologies like Postgres, Kafka, Kubernetes. Right side: frontend stack with React, Vue, and Tailwind. And recruiters? They want you to be an expert in all of it . The painful truth every developer knows: companies post "entry-level" positions requiring mastery of 15 different technologies, 8 years of experience, and probably the ability to refactor legacy code while blindfolded. Meanwhile, the actual job is maintaining a CRUD app from 2012. The cherry on top? The salary is "competitive" – which translates to "we'll pay you half what you're worth but hey, we have free snacks in the break room!"

Content Kat Maddox ctrishifti 5h imagine if zoologists reacted to new animal discoveries the same way that coders do whenever a new js framework is released. "another fucking frog? again?" 14 17, 149 952 Kat Maddox ctrishifti 5h angrily reading the entry for the new frog what was wrong with all the old ones? 0 6 17 17 413 1

Content anthraxlobster Free worldbuilding idea: Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all. "Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagent shop for a few years I don't trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes." "Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston's Divine Circle of Teleportation. There's some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It's way safer." "I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? 'Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles? That's just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don't even interact with each other." "I've been looking at this scroll all morning and I'm 90 sure that the scribe didn't even look at the standard for pyromancies." digitaldiscipline "Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?" indistinct vocals "Dave, l've seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support." purewriting "I can't get this fucking spell to work, Jane, can you look it?" passes a scroll a few moments of silence "I think you missed a bookend rune right here-" "GODS DAMN IT! IT'S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!" angrily scribbles on parchment (It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works) crazy-pages don't play wizards anymore because they're too much like my day job. drackir Instead of a orb the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake. beachfox You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is! Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It's just explaining to Firewing what you're trying to do with this teleportation matrix until you realize that you've been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT! 53,471 notes u

Content Is Your Child Texting About Programming Languages? What your C obsessed teen's texts actually mean omg - one more generic wtf -wheres the function fml - for my loop idfc indentation doesn't feel correct lol - logic on loop aka - abhorrent kafkaesque arithmetic rofl - right-oriented frame layout imo - iteration may overload stfu - statically typed feels unwise brb - bad recursion brb