Before And After: The JavaScript Journey

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THE ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL! You ask for a simple yes/no answer and these monsters hit you with "Well, it depends..." followed by a 17-paragraph essay that never actually answers your question! I'm just sitting here SCREAMING at my monitor because all I needed was TRUE or FALSE, not your entire life story converted to a string! The audacity of these people to return a string when a boolean would suffice is the programming equivalent of ordering a coffee and receiving an entire coffee plantation! 😭

College professors living in 2010. Rejecting modern frameworks and buzzwords with a dismissive hand, but absolutely glowing at the prospect of making students implement bubble sort for the 47th time. Nothing says "preparing you for the industry" like coding algorithms nobody's written from scratch since the Bush administration.

Rolling your own JWT authentication is basically the security equivalent of performing brain surgery on yourself because you watched a YouTube tutorial. Sure, you technically implemented authentication, but you've also probably introduced 47 different attack vectors that a security researcher will gleefully document in a CVE someday. There's a reason why battle-tested libraries like Passport, Auth0, or even Firebase Auth exist. JWT has so many gotchas—algorithm confusion attacks, token expiration handling, refresh token rotation, secure storage, XSS vulnerabilities—that even experienced devs mess it up. But hey, at least you can brag about it at parties while the security team quietly adds your endpoints to their watchlist. Pro tip: If your JWT implementation doesn't make you question your life choices at least three times, you're probably missing something important.

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HOLD THE PHONE! This developer just committed the ULTIMATE crime against humanity! Adding a 5% chance of random errors in a library?! That's not coding, that's PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE! 💀 Imagine spending 6 hours debugging only to discover your error is literally a RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR deciding your fate. It's like the software equivalent of stepping on LEGO - completely unexpected and absolutely excruciating. And then obfuscating the code?! That's not just evil, that's supervillain-level diabolical. Other developers aren't just contemplating the noose, they're BOOKING THERAPY SESSIONS IN ADVANCE!