This One Sparks Joy

Content urealPubkey Promoted RDB - the JavaScript Database you deserve The JavaScript Database you deserve IRXDB rdb.info Learn More 4 vote S ProdrammerHumor.io 0 Share Award

Content Comments 7.9K X Weaver Games 6 months ago Finally, a monitor that can display an entire Java class name. 16 1.5K E 18 18 replies

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'

HONEY, LISTEN TO ME! The banking industry is having a CRISIS of BIBLICAL proportions! First they're all like "Modern" and "Front" and "End" - cool buzzwords that make developers feel special. But then BOOM! Plot twist! She says "Modern Frontend" and he DARES to respond with "Java Servlet"?! 💀 It's like showing up to a Tesla convention with a steam engine! These billion-dollar banks are STILL running ancient Java servlets from the JURASSIC PERIOD while pretending they're all modern and cutting-edge! The AUDACITY! The DECEPTION! The absolutely prehistoric tech stack masquerading in designer clothes!

Content Java Developer Aclat, Incorporated Posted: Sep 29, 2014 DIVISION IT APPROXIMATE HOURS PER WEEK COMPENSATION Paid TYPE 40 Hrsweek DURATION 6 Months QUALIFICATIONS Any Degree DESCRIPTION JavaScript, also known as Java for short, is a scripting language that allows interactivity on websites. For instance, Java allows users to see different images Employer Profile based on where they scroll or click their mouse on the site. Java developers are the experts who work closely with team members, end-users and vendors to test and create websites that are easy to navigate for web visitors. Java developers are responsible for programming JavaScript on commercial websites to create moving images, drop-down menus, animation and different sounds and music. These professionals also work closely with JavaScript to enable security settings that validate users and process business transactions. Java developers frequently communicate with their management team and end-users to ensure that the scripting language addresses user and business requirements, improves website functionality, and enhances the overall design and usability of the site. Other duties for java developers include gathering and documenting user requirements, analyzing data and conducting unit and quality assurance testing. Java developers should be highly analytical and technologically savvy, with strong problem-solving skills. Employers prefer candidates who have expertise with JavaScript development, as well as experience working with HTML, JSP, EJB, Eclipse and Microsoft SQL Server. Candidates should also have a proficiency in Microsoft Excel and Microsoft Vise. The ability to pay close attention to detail, develop creative solutions for complex and abstract problems and concentrate for

Content Memeloper iammemeloper Developer: We have a problem. Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities. Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity. 5:04 PM Apr 22, 2022 Twitter for Android ProgrammerHumor