The Floor Is Java

Content The Programmer Hierarchy Lisp Programmers Assembler Programmers Consider themselves superior to Programmers Ruby Programmers C Programmers Perl Programmers Note: Ruby programmers consider themselves superior to everybody, but are not aware orthe existence or non- web languages so on this chart come in above Perl Programmers Python Proorammers PHP Programmers pup Programmers Pennle who refuse to use the word Ajax Ajax Programmers C Programmers JavaScript Programmers Fortran Programmers Visual Basic Programmers COBOL Programmers ADA Programmers Pascal Programmers Java Programmers People who insist on calling HTML a programming language

Content JAVASCRIPT IS COUNTER-STRIKE COOL BUT GETS WORSE THE MORE YOU UNDERSTAND C IS DARK SOULS You'rE KIlleD BY THE TUTORIAL BOll IF PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES WERE GAMES toggl KOTLIN IS TETRIS BUILT BY COMMUNISM, RUNS ON CAPITALISM HASKELL IS DUNGEONS DRAGOnS IT WOULD BE COOL IF YOU ACTUALLY STARTED PLAYING C IS TIC-TAC-TOE EASY, UNLESS YOU'RE PLAYING AGAINST THE MACHINE JAVA IS DOOM RUnS ON 3 BILlioN DEVICES PERL IS HIDE-AND-SEEK DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE HIDING, BECAUSE NO ONE IS LOOKING SWIFT IS MONOPOLY A LESSON IN CORPORATE GREED ASSEMBLY IS A COUPLE OF NAILS AND A PLANK YOU CALL IT "LEGO" PHP IS AN ELEPHANT BEATING You TO DEATH WITH A PADDLE -BALL DART IS THE GAme YoU LOST.

Content Learning Javascript... '5' - 3 fck that sht. 3 5-2' 153 I'II be a whore...

What starts as a simple "model a car" assignment quickly descends into quantum physics. Just another day where inheritance hierarchies spiral out of control until you're implementing abstract quarks. And they wonder why the project is six months behind schedule. Next week: implementing the String Theory interface because someone in management read about it in a magazine.

Content What are the 7 deadly sins of programming? John Purcell, Creator of CaveOfProgramming.com Updated Dec 2, 2017 Upvoted by Les Howie, Software professional for 40 years. and Hasib Al Muhaimin, IOl participant '13, '14, '15, ACM-ICPC World Finalist 2016 Author has 5.9k answers and 9.3m answer views 1. Using spaces instead of tabs. You should always, always use tabs, not spaces. 2. Using tabs instead of spaces. You should always, always use spaces, not tabs. 3. Not using auto-formatting. Forget all that tabsspaces rubbish, what's wrong with you - auto-format your code and then people won't have to look at vour weird ideas about brackets and spaces. 4. Using IDEs, which have features such as auto-formatting and nicely- coloured buttons. All code should be written in vi or Emacs, thus ensuring the purity of the programming experience. 5. Not using IDEs. No-one wants to pay for all the time it's going to take you to type things that you could have done at the click of a button, or scroll up and down using some ridiculous key combination invoked using LISP. 6. Failing to learn C and C. It's really important to learn the two absolute essential languages. You think Java is just as good? Fine, write me a real- time control system for racing cars in Java and I'll believe you. 7. Learning C or C when you could be using something modern like Java instead. Admit it - all your schedules involving C or C overrun by five years. And even then the software turns out to have critical flaws that Java would not even have allowed you to create. 8. Overrunning the end of an array. 356.1k views View 11.9k Upvoters View Sharers

When GitHub Copilot generates your data class and decides to nest variables like Russian dolls. That's not a class, it's a family tree of Strings going back 17 generations. Somewhere in that code is the String that contains the meaning of life, but you'll need to scroll for 3 days to find it. Enterprise software at its finest—where simplicity goes to die.