Java is hard

Content Javascript first appeared in 1995. Programmers in 1994:

Content God creates RAM Man creates Android Studio God. .. . .

The eternal gang war of programming: res vs ans ! Variable naming conventions that split the coding community faster than tabs vs spaces. One side lazily abbreviates "result" while the other prefers "answer" - both equally useless when you revisit your code six months later wondering what the heck these variables actually store. The true neutral programmers just use x for everything and let chaos reign.

The evolution of a programmer's hairline perfectly correlates with their tech stack choices. Start in UI/UX with a full head of hair and optimistic dreams. By the time you're doing Frontend, you've seen enough CSS bugs to lose a bit. Full Stack JS and Mobile devs? That's when the real receding begins. C#/Java programmers have accepted their fate along with their verbose syntax. DBAs are too busy optimizing queries to notice their optimization problems up top. But DevOps/SysAdmin? Those 3AM production failures have claimed most of the hair. And if you've reached Embedded programming, congratulations! You've traded your hairline for the ability to make a microcontroller blink with only 12 bytes of memory.

The oldest trick in the developer handbook: wrapping problematic code in an if (true) block with a return statement instead of properly commenting it out. Top panel: Java compiler screaming "unreachable statement" because those Star Wars lightsaber sound effects will never execute after the return . Bottom panel: The developer feeling smug after "fixing" the issue by wrapping the return in an if (true) block, tricking the compiler into thinking those ridiculous sound effects might actually run someday. Nine years of software engineering experience and we're still pulling stunts like this instead of using version control like adults.

Content Programming Wisdom CodeWisdom "Java is to JavaScript what Car is to Carpet." - Chris Heilmann 7:07 pm 23 Feb 18