Romantic Relationship Terminated By Exception

The sinister grin of a Java developer declaring private long penis; in their codebase. It's that moment of juvenile rebellion hidden within professional-looking code that somehow passes code review because technically it follows naming conventions. The variable might store the timestamp from 1970, but that's not why they're smiling. The duality of being a sophisticated software engineer while simultaneously having the humor of a 12-year-old is peak developer culture.

Content programmingofficial New languages programmers Python is better Nooooo, JS is far better C programmers C is hell Yes ProarammerHumor.io

Content Paul Graham replied Tawanda Nyahuye, towernter What is the biggest lie you have heard from a programmer? 6:42 PM Jul 10, 2020 Twitter for Android 362 Retweets and comments 1.4K Likes 7 Paul Graham paulg 7h Replying to towernter "It should work now." 27 17 54 1.1 K ProarammerHumor.io

Content Tawanda Nyahuyerm towernter Recruiters be like: We want someone who can connect to the database using CSS. 17:10 20 Jul 20 Twitter for Android

Content You prefer stability and simplicity. Keeping your memory segmented and tidy brings meaning to your life. You're probably also old Java You teach computer science and are focused on "applications" You've never written a single line of production code ano vounave vou were propaov an intern You graduated from unpaid intern to full blown junior programmer You now make android anne You work in game development or at Microsoft. You still say OOP is okay in moderation, and you can stop at anytime. (You are critically addicted to classes) Context free grammars? Graons ano Trees Design Patterns? Monads? eues? What are you talking about bro? I just do Data Science! You find C too simple for your own personal tastes. You'd rather debug templates for the rest of your life. Apparently it pavs well too You are also a masochist. People can't stop talking about you. Probably also identify as LGBTQ or a Furry. php You may have been dropped on vour head as a child You're a hyper nerd who was abused by Java and are currenty in your rebenious onase You also can't stop trying to tell people what a monad is CELILWrO A Greetings stranger, welcome to earth! Here we speak english! Did you know verbs sounds better when they go in front of the subject. Of course you didn't know that, because it isn't true. F I'm not sure what motivated you to use the literal oldestianguage in existence con Maybe you just like working on legacy code that predates the formation of the universe.

Ah yes, the presidential decree of bad programming practices. Nothing says "Make Software Great Again" like starting arrays at 1 (a crime in most programming languages), using only global variables (the radioactive waste of code), and deploying untested code straight to production on a Friday (the ultimate "I hate my weekend" power move). It's basically an executive order to create job security through chaos. Ten years of debugging later, you'll still be finding remnants of this administration in your codebase.