I Hate Me More Than I Hate Java

Content Python: What if everything was a dict? Java: What if everything was an object? JavaScript: What if everything was a dict and an object? C: What if everything was a pointer? APL: What if everything was an array? Tel: What if everything was a string? Prolog: What if everything was a term? LISP: What if everything was a pair? Scheme: What if everything was a function? Haskell: What if everything was a monad? Assembly: What if everything was a register? Cog: What if everything was a typeproposition? COBOL: WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE? C: What if everything was like Java, but different? Ruby: What if everything was monkey patched? Pascal: BEGIN What if everything was structured? END C: What if we added everything to the language? C11: What if we forgot to stop adding stuff? Rust: What if garbage collection didn't exist? Go: What if we tried designing C a second time? Perl: What if shell, sed, and awk were one language? Peri6: What if we took the joke too far? PHP: What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier? VB: What if we wanted to allow anyone to program? VB.NET: What if we wanted to stop them again? Forth: What if everything was a stack? ColorForth: What if the stack was green? PostScript: What if everything was printed at 600dpi? XSLT: What if everything was an XML element? Make: What if everything was a dependency? m4: What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted? Scala: What if Haskell ran on the JVM? Clojure: What if LISP ran on the JVM? Lua: What if game developers got tired of C? Mathematica: What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything? Malbolge: What if there is no god? nixcraft

Content Evil Elon Musk MrEvilMusk Remote desktop terminal in your shower, so you can write code when you are doing your best thinking. May or may not be waterproof 9:40 AM 20 Feb 19 Twitter for Android

Content Aw look how modern LAMBDAS MUST ONLY USE VARIABLES MARKED FINAL Oh no It's retarded

Content MINECRAFT mountain streams and waterfalls. Also added springs to lush caves. Fixed an indent in the code. Doesn't matter at all so I don't know why I'm mentioning it here.

Content STEAM MACHINE NEEDS BETTER HARDWARE THAN OTHER CONSOLES OR IT WILL FAIL! IT WOULD BE TOO EXPENSIVE AND PEOPLE WOULD JUST BUY A PC INSTEAD! What if the Steam Machine launches at $500 and allows the user to buy & swap out the hardware it comes with for better hardware if they want to?

Content Dr Emma Louise Barlow emloubarlow Just saw a job ad for a Latin teacher. Ad specified that successful applicant must be a native speaker of the language. Good luck with that. 7:14 AM 16 Aug 21 Twitter for Android