Guys Only Want One Disgusting Thing

Content TOP DEFINITION C y f 3 A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong. It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C as any other major language (except C). The men who program in C are Real Men. The women who program in C are Real Men too. You can spot a C programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all. Dev: 'Hey, Reg, you know C right? What does: "Isrc Cont.spp(52) : error C2679: binary '': no operator found which takes a right- hand operand of type 'int' (or there is no acceptable conversion) C: Program Files Microsoft Visual Studio 8VC include vector (392): could be 'std: VectoriteratorTy, Alloc std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc:operator (const std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd allocatorMain::Cont while trying to match the argument list '(std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc, int)' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd :allocatorMain::Cont " mean?' Reg: 'You missed a semicolon at the end of the line'

Content Making a chatbot using Java Making a chatbot using Python char.mander. Making a chatbot using Windows Batch Hiding inside a computer case pretending to be a chatbot and responding to the user yourself.

Content Paul Graham replied Tawanda Nyahuye towernter What is the biggest lie you have heard from a programmer? 6:42 PM Jul 10, 2020 Twitter for Android 362 Retweets and comments 1.4K Likes 17 Paul Graham paulg 7h Replying to towernter "It should work now." 27 17 54 1.1K 1.C

BEHOLD! The modern Java developer's plight—desperately trying to build a Spring Boot app with the technological equivalent of a cardboard tube and duct tape! 😭 While the rest of the world moves on with shiny new frameworks, here's our hero, wearing headphones to drown out the screams of 10,000 XML configuration files and 47 dependency injections gone wrong. The blue cardboard tube represents hope... the last remaining shred of sanity before the inevitable heap space error crushes their soul. And yet, they persist! Because nothing says "enterprise-ready" like spending 6 hours configuring Tomcat while your Node.js friends built an entire startup in the meantime!

OH. MY. GOD. The existential crisis when you suddenly realize that the print() function wasn't named by some cosmic random coding deity but because it LITERALLY PRINTED STUFF ON ACTUAL PAPER! 🤯 My entire programming life has been a LIE! Those ancient developers sitting there with their teletypewriters, watching their code physically PRINT OUT like some prehistoric fax machine while we're over here thinking we're so clever with our fancy terminals. I can't even process this level of obviousness that somehow escaped my brain for YEARS. Next you'll tell me "mouse" is called that because it RESEMBLES AN ACTUAL RODENT?! I need to lie down.

Just committed the ultimate act of sabotage. Told my buddy to start with Java as their first language and now I'm flying away from the disaster zone like a happy little airplane. It's like handing someone a chainsaw when they asked for a butter knife. Sure, Java's powerful and employable, but watching a newbie wrestle with abstract factory pattern implementations before they understand what a variable is? *chef's kiss* Pure chaos. Could've suggested Python or JavaScript, but where's the fun in that? Some people just want to watch the world burn... or at least watch their friend's enthusiasm evaporate faster than RAM in a memory leak.