USB C? You Mean USA C?

EMERGENCY MEDICAL ALERT: Gamers suffering from severe hardware deficiency! The classic stroke symptoms have evolved - now including the terrifying ability to brag about running Borderlands 4 at 60 FPS on a 5090 graphics card that doesn't even exist yet ! 💀 The only treatment? Selling your kidney for the next GPU or accepting that your pathetic 30 FPS life is basically the computing equivalent of the Stone Age. Thoughts and prayers for all PC gamers with last year's "obsolete" $2000 setup! 🙏

Finally found a use for those ancient DDR2 sticks collecting dust in my drawer since 2009. Turns out RAM makes excellent prison shanks for threatening the intern who suggested we rewrite everything in Rust. Look at that tape craftsmanship – I learned that in 20 years of debugging production servers at 3 AM, not some fancy CS degree.

Ah, the rare sighting of computers in their natural aquatic environment! What we're witnessing here is a classic case of hardware returning to the wild. These vintage machines aren't just taking a swim—they're phishing , the pun being the perfect blend of "fishing" and "phishing" (those malicious attempts to steal your credentials that flood your inbox daily). Those old beige boxes have finally escaped the corporate cubicles where they spent decades processing TPS reports, only to end up in this swampy retirement home. Honestly, still better working conditions than most IT departments I've seen. Nature is healing. The computers are returning to the water. Next time your IT guy says "have you tried turning it off and on again," just throw it in the nearest pond instead.

8GB of RAM: the gift that keeps on giving. In 2005, you were basically running a supercomputer. By 2015, you were... still doing fine, honestly. Fast forward to 2025 and your machine is wheezing like it just climbed five flights of stairs while Chrome is open. But wait—2026 rolls around and suddenly 8GB is back to being acceptable again because everyone finally realized Electron apps were a mistake and went back to native development. Just kidding, we're all doomed. Your IDE alone needs 12GB now.

Updating your computer's BIOS is like playing Russian roulette with your motherboard. One wrong move and you're shopping for new hardware! That sad Sonic represents every sysadmin who's ever whispered "please don't brick" while staring at a progress bar frozen at 27%. The prayer hands are basically standard procedure at this point. The worst part? Half the time you're only doing it because some obscure forum post suggested it might fix your completely unrelated issue.

Nothing says "planned obsolescence" quite like Nvidia casually yeeting perfectly good GPUs into the abyss. These RTX 50-series cards barely had time to collect dust before Nvidia decided they're done supporting them. Classic tech giant move—drop support faster than you can say "driver update." For developers and ML engineers who just dropped a kidney's worth of cash on these cards, watching Nvidia toss them aside like yesterday's garbage hits different. You're still paying off the credit card, and they're already pretending your hardware doesn't exist. The Toy Story format captures that exact moment when you realize your expensive hardware investment just became a very pricey paperweight. Woody's desperate plea perfectly mirrors every dev's internal screaming when their production server's GPU suddenly becomes unsupported legacy hardware.