The Cobbler's Children Have No Smart Home

Whoever made this deserves a promotion and a psych evaluation. It's a brilliant visual pun using electrical circuit diagrams to illustrate computing concepts. Serial processing executes tasks one after another (like killers waiting their turn), while parallel processing handles multiple tasks simultaneously (killing your CPU efficiency but getting the job done faster). After 15 years of optimizing code, I still chuckle when junior devs discover threading and suddenly want to parallelize everything. Sure kid, enjoy your race conditions and deadlocks—I'll be over here with my popcorn.

Nothing says "responsible parenting" quite like abandoning your child with a mainframe computer from the 1970s and a COBOL manual! This is basically the programming equivalent of leaving your kid with dinosaurs as babysitters. That poor child is about to learn that semicolons aren't just for English class and that punch cards were the original "swipe right." The ultimate character-building exercise: debug COBOL or no dinner tonight! Honestly, this might explain why so many banking systems still run on ancient code - those traumatized children grew up and refused to ever touch the code again.

Some developer just installed Arch Linux on a vape. Because why enjoy nicotine when you can enjoy kernel panic attacks instead? The screen proudly displays neofetch with that iconic ASCII Arch logo made of characters, complete with system specs. 728MB of RAM - perfect for running exactly one terminal instance before it crashes. Next up: getting Doom to run on it, because that's the true benchmark of unnecessary computing.

The eternal struggle of every young developer trying to explain why a $3000 RTX-powered beast is an "essential educational tool" while parents see right through the BS. That moment when you realize your elaborate pitch about "compiling efficiency" and "parallel processing requirements" just translated to "go to sleep and dream about it instead" in parent language. The bed was their savage checkmate move – can't argue about needing a gaming PC when they've already solved your "I need somewhere to sit" problem with somewhere to lie down instead.

That rusted, half-dead computer case is apparently all you need to run Linux. While Windows demands 16GB RAM and a quantum processor just to open a text file, Linux will happily boot on whatever archaeological artifact you've dug up from behind the shed. I've seen production servers running on hardware that belongs in the Smithsonian. That box probably outperforms half the cloud instances people are paying $50/month for. Just slap some Debian on it, SSH in from another continent, and watch it run for 7 years without rebooting.

Remember when game devs hand-crafted assembly code to squeeze every cycle out of the PS2? Now they just throw more lights at the problem and hope DLSS will save them. Modern devs staring at their RTX 5090 wondering why their unoptimized mess runs like a slideshow. "But I added ray-tracing!" Yeah, and your grass simulation is calculating the aerodynamics of each individual blade. Maybe learn to write a shader that doesn't require NASA's computing budget.