The Aristocracy Of Early Adoption

So apparently the medical equivalent of "have you tried turning it off and on again?" is just straight-up murder and resurrection. The surgeon here is treating a human body like it's a crashed production server at 2 PM on a Friday. Just kill all processes, reboot, and hope nothing's corrupted. No logs, no diagnostics, just the nuclear option. To be fair, this troubleshooting methodology has a 100% success rate in IT. The patient might not remember their passwords afterward, but that's a separate ticket.

Local computer shops really out here selling "gaming PCs" with an i7 sticker slapped on the case like it's some kind of flex. Yeah sure, it's an i7... from 2011. Fourth gen Intel processors hitting that sweet spot where they're technically still functional but also old enough to have witnessed the rise and fall of multiple JavaScript frameworks. The salesperson will swear it's perfect for gaming while conveniently forgetting to mention which generation that i7 is from. It's like bragging about driving a Ferrari but leaving out the part where it's a 1987 model with no engine.

Ah, the sweet delusion of the elderly PC builder. Remember when $1000 could get you a beast of a machine? Now that same budget barely covers a decent graphics card after you've sold a kidney on the black market. The chip shortage, crypto miners, and "gamer aesthetics" tax have turned PC building into a luxury hobby that requires a financial advisor. Meanwhile, the younger generation just pats us on the back and humors our ramblings about the good old days when we weren't choosing between rent and a new CPU.

Ah, the eternal GPU dilemma! On one path, NVIDIA offers beastly performance that might just burn down your house and require a second mortgage for your electricity bill. On the other path, AMD gives you "support" for older cards that basically translates to "yeah, it'll technically run... at 4 FPS." Meanwhile, gamers stand paralyzed at the crossroads, praying Intel Arc somehow becomes the messiah of reasonable pricing and performance that was prophesied. It's like choosing between setting your wallet on fire or settling for graphics from 2010.

Ah, the multiverse of hardware confusion. Someone at marketing decided to slap an Intel logo on an AMD Ryzen processor because brand loyalty is for people who read spec sheets. This laptop must be powered by unicorn tears and compiler warnings. Next they'll tell us it runs both Windows and Linux simultaneously while maintaining your sanity. The perfect machine for developers who can't decide which tech religion to join, so they just worship at the altar of "whatever works sometimes."

When tech support connects to your machine and immediately tells you to "kindly get a different computer," you know you've achieved peak digital dumpster fire status. Poor Jennifer K just wanted to help with an exam setup but apparently stumbled into the digital equivalent of opening a haunted storage unit. Two minutes of remote access was all it took for her to realize this laptop belongs in a museum... of technological horrors. That's the tech support equivalent of a doctor walking into the exam room, taking one look at you, and immediately recommending a priest instead.