So It's Like, Fast

When your microcontroller doesn't explode but you're still suspicious... That's embedded systems for you! These brave souls are out here writing code where a single misplaced bit can turn your smart toaster into a small fire hazard. The constant fear of setting a power pin high when it should be low is the embedded programmer's version of Russian roulette. No smoke today? That's not reassurance—that's just the calm before the electrical storm. The hardware isn't working? Good. The hardware is working? Suspicious .

Spent $3000 on high-end components, forgot to actually build the PC. Classic rookie mistake of confusing "buying parts" with "assembling computer." That RTX 4070 isn't going to install itself, buddy. Next time try removing the components from their boxes and connecting them together—it's this weird hack that makes computers actually turn on.

The great GPU wars continue. Intel Arc arrives as "A New Hope" in December 2024, only for NVIDIA to immediately crush that hope with RTX 5070 in January as "The Empire Strikes Back." Then AMD swoops in with RX 9070 XT in March as "Return of the Jedi." Just another predictable chapter in the never-ending saga where your wallet is the true casualty. The Force is strong with price gouging.

THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of hardware questions in 2023! 💅 Is 12GB VRAM a lot? Well DARLING, for your precious little Fortnite sessions? It's like bringing a nuclear warhead to a water balloon fight. But for training your fancy Large Language Model? That's like trying to fill the Grand Canyon with a sippy cup! PATHETIC! The way AI developers sob uncontrollably when someone suggests training a decent model on consumer hardware is just *chef's kiss* DRAMATIC. Meanwhile, gamers are over there with their RGB everything, treating 12GB like it's barely adequate for their precious ray-traced puddles.

That moment when your high-end gaming rig with 32GB RAM and RTX 4090 can barely handle a remastered version of a game from 2003. You excitedly select "Auto Detect Quality" expecting it to max out everything, only for the system to take one look at the spaghetti code underneath the shiny new textures and go "Yeah... let's set this to medium." Your $3000 machine just got humbled by legacy code that was written when 512MB of RAM was considered excessive. The real remaster was the existential crisis we gained along the way.

The GPU shortage has driven us to new lows. Someone thought they scored an RTX 2080 graphics card for under $10, but ended up with... toothpaste. The "Power Shield" is protecting your teeth, not your frame rates. At least your breath will render in 4K while you're sobbing over crypto miners buying actual GPUs at 300% markup. The only ray tracing this provides is the trail of mint as you spit it into the sink.