Have you tried turning it off and back on again? Oh wait, it never turned on in the first place. The cardboard RTX 3050 might be your problem—turns out Amazon's "like new" condition isn't what it used to be.
This is what happens when you tell your boss "we need to upgrade our hardware" and the budget approval comes back with "get creative." At least the fan is labeled "be quiet"—which is exactly what it's doing.
The saddest part? This still has better airflow than my actual gaming rig.