Did You?

Gaming enthusiasts have zero chill when it comes to the Steam Deck's cuboid shape. The second Valve released their portable PC gaming device, the internet collectively decided it's just Gabe Newell (Valve's founder) trapped in a box. Now we can't unsee it—a sea of GabeCubes ready to invade our homes, bringing Steam sales directly to our couches. The perfect rectangular prison for a billionaire who just wants you to play Half-Life while sitting on the toilet.

Your security team keeps nagging everyone about "password rotation best practices" and "regular credential updates," but nobody told the keypad that the most frequently used buttons would literally wear themselves into oblivion. Look at those poor 1, 3, 4, 5, and 6 keys—completely rubbed smooth like a junior dev's confidence after their first production incident. Meanwhile 7, 8, 9, and 0 are sitting there pristine, probably judging the whole situation. You don't need a security audit to crack this code; you just need functioning eyeballs. Plot twist: rotating your password from 1234 to 4321 doesn't actually help when the wear pattern screams "these are the only numbers I use." This is basically a physical timing attack, except instead of measuring CPU cycles, you're measuring how much finger grease can destroy plastic. Security through obscurity? More like security through finger oil patterns.

The evolution of gaming expectations in a nutshell. Back in the '90s, gamers were just happy if the cartridge actually loaded without blowing into it three times. "The game runs? Amazing! 10/10 would play again." Fast forward to 2020s where we've got RGB-lit gaming rigs that could probably run NASA simulations, and gamers are having existential crises because their FPS dropped from 167 to 165—a difference literally imperceptible to the human eye. The contrast is beautiful: a chunky CRT monitor on a wooden desk versus a curved ultrawide with a glass panel PC showing off its RGB fans. We went from "it works!" to obsessively monitoring frame times and getting tilted over 2 FPS drops. The hardware got exponentially better, but somehow our tolerance for imperfection got exponentially worse. Welcome to the future, where your $3000 setup still isn't good enough for your anxiety.

THE AUDACITY of this DIY genius! 💅 That's literally a circuit board with joysticks masquerading as a gaming controller! When your wallet screams "NO" but your gaming addiction whispers "find a way," you end up performing SURGERY on electronics! The financial trauma of gaming peripherals has driven this poor soul to create Frankenstein's controller from what appears to be spare parts. Budget gaming at its most DESPERATE and BRILLIANT!

You'll scroll past a 5-minute TV episode like it's a war crime, but suddenly you're 45 minutes deep into some dude's unboxing video of a $2,000 GPU you can't afford, completely mesmerized by thermal paste application techniques. We've all been there—bored out of our minds until someone starts talking about RAM speeds or comparing NVMe drives, and suddenly we're glued to the screen like it's the season finale of our favorite show. The algorithm knows us too well. It knows we'll click on "RTX 4090 vs 4080 Ti: Is it worth the extra $800?" faster than we'll respond to our manager's Slack messages.

Spend $1500 on an ultra-wide curved monitor with HDR and 240Hz refresh rate. Windows: "Here's your rectangle, peasant." No matter how premium your hardware gets, Windows just refuses to acknowledge your financial decisions with anything but the most generic driver name possible. The middle finger is just the chef's kiss to the whole experience.