60 FPS Doesn't Do It For Me Anymore

The sacred resurrection of ancient tech! Floppy disks—those square relics that Gen Z thinks are just 3D-printed save icons—sacrificed themselves to digital obsolescence only to be immortalized as the universal "save" symbol. Their physical form perished so their spiritual legacy could live on in every toolbar across the digital universe. Next time you click that little square icon, pour one out for the 1.44MB martyr that died for your sins of not backing up your work.

Ah, the GPU market's nightmare fuel. A creepy clown lurking in a sewer drain promising GPUs at MSRP (Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price) is the perfect metaphor for the current state of graphics card shopping. In the years since crypto mining and chip shortages, finding a GPU at its intended price has been so rare that it might as well be a murderous entity luring desperate gamers into the sewers. Most developers would indeed crawl through drainage systems for a reasonably priced RTX card at this point.

Left side: "Installing 40%. Please keep your computer on and plugged in. Your computer may restart a few times." Right side: "SERVER ACCESS UNAVAILABLE. Please check your network connection." Ah yes, Razer software—simultaneously demanding you stay connected while also failing to connect itself. It's like your coworker who insists on a meeting but never shows up. Schrödinger's installer: both installing and not installing until you observe the error message.

Oh sweet summer child... In the tech world, WAP means Wireless Access Point. In the other world, well... let's just say Cardi B wasn't rapping about network infrastructure. That awkward moment when you realize the HR ladies weren't correcting your technical knowledge—they were saving you from yourself. Nothing like discovering you've been enthusiastically discussing something completely different in all those meetings. Bet those quarterly reports read differently now!

Ah, the elusive A: drive. For the younger devs who've never experienced the joy of floppy disks, the A: drive was the default letter for that ancient 3.5" data rectangle that stored a whopping 1.44MB. That's right—not GB, not even MB—just 1.44MB. You could fit approximately one-third of a modern JavaScript framework's readme file on there. These days, most computers don't even have physical drive letters anymore, just abstract mount points that hide in the shadows like well-documented code.

The brutal reality of Assembly language summed up in one perfect Carl Sagan reference! When high-level languages let you just import a library and call makePie() , Assembly forces you to manually manage every electron in the universe. Want to print "Hello World"? First define the cosmos, build a CPU from quarks, and then spend 47 lines moving individual bytes into registers. It's like building a skyscraper with tweezers when everyone else is using cranes. No wonder Assembly programmers have that thousand-yard stare—they've seen the void between the bits.