His Man.Go

The bell curve of programming wisdom strikes again! The average devs (34% on each side) are busy crying about "proper" type usage, screaming that you absolutely MUST use unsigned integers for positive values. Meanwhile, both the beginners (left) and the enlightened masters (right) just use regular integers for everything and get on with their lives. Why waste precious brain cycles on unsigned vs signed when you could be solving actual problems? Type purists will spend 3 hours arguing about uint8 vs int8 while the rest of us shipped the feature and went home early. The circle of programming life is complete when you realize simplicity beats pedantry every time.

The bell curve of developer intelligence has spoken: only the truly enlightened (bottom 0.1% and top 0.1%) understand that standalone binaries are superior, while the mediocre 68% in the middle are screaming about containerized environments like they've discovered fire. It's the perfect illustration of how software development fashion works - the beginners and masters quietly compile to binaries while everyone with average intelligence overcomplicates deployment with Docker manifests, Kubernetes configs, and seventeen layers of abstraction just to run "Hello World." The cosmic joke? Those containers are ultimately running binaries anyway. Full circle, but with extra steps.

Ah, Golang's date formatting—the language where someone thought, "You know what developers need? More cognitive load!" Instead of using sensible formats like everyone else, Go decided that the reference date January 2, 2006 at 3:04:05 PM MST (01/02 03:04:05PM '06 -0700) would be their magic template. Want to format a date? Just remember which parts of this specific moment in time to use! It's like having to recite a magic incantation every time you need to print a simple timestamp. Seven years into using Go and I still have to Google this nonsense every single time.

Ah, the classic "C/C++ is dead" narrative that's been circulating since approximately the Jurassic period. This meme perfectly captures the eternal resilience of C/C++ despite countless obituaries written by trendy language evangelists. Every few years, some shiny new language comes along promising to be the "C++ killer" - yet there's C/C++, smugly posing next to its own grave, refusing to die. Meanwhile, critical infrastructure, operating systems, game engines, and performance-critical applications are still running on these supposedly "ancient" languages. The smirk says it all: "Nice try, Rust/Go/whatever... I've been declared dead more times than a soap opera villain, and I'm still powering the world while you're trying to figure out your package manager."

The circle of tech life is complete. Remember judging your parents for saying "what's a browser?" Now here we are, staring at Rust's borrow checker like it's quantum physics written in hieroglyphics. After 15 years of coding, I've evolved from "I can learn any language!" to "Does this new framework spark joy? No? Then it's dead to me." The tech fatigue is real - we've all become the very technophobes we swore to replace.

The classic "let me solve this with threads" syndrome that haunts our industry. It's like watching someone try to untangle Christmas lights by adding more Christmas lights to the mix. Multithreading: the only programming solution that multiplies your problems with mathematical precision. One problem becomes two, then four, then eight—exponential regret growth! The worst part? That smug "I know!" moment before everything falls apart. It's the computational equivalent of saying "hold my beer" right before attempting a backflip off a roof.