Go Goes Brr

Ah, the classic "C/C++ is dead" narrative that's been circulating since approximately the Jurassic period. This meme perfectly captures the eternal resilience of C/C++ despite countless obituaries written by trendy language evangelists. Every few years, some shiny new language comes along promising to be the "C++ killer" - yet there's C/C++, smugly posing next to its own grave, refusing to die. Meanwhile, critical infrastructure, operating systems, game engines, and performance-critical applications are still running on these supposedly "ancient" languages. The smirk says it all: "Nice try, Rust/Go/whatever... I've been declared dead more times than a soap opera villain, and I'm still powering the world while you're trying to figure out your package manager."

When everyone's like "Go is so simple!" and you're questioning your entire coding existence... Plot twist: it's not you, it's just Java developers fleeing their verbose nightmare! They're migrating faster than geese in winter. The grass is always greener where you don't need to type AbstractSingletonProxyFactoryBean just to print "hello world". 🏃‍♂️💨

A programmer's twist on the classic "what girls want" tweet! While the original tweet suggests girls want "commitment" (starts with C), our battle-scarred dev responds with the ultimate programmer dad joke: "Go and Rust are memory safer, but you do you." It's the perfect marriage of programming languages and dating humor. Sure, Go and Rust handle memory management safely, but C? That's living dangerously—manual memory allocation with no safety nets. Like dating someone who says "I don't believe in labels" on the first date. Segmentation faults in your code or your love life? Choose wisely.

The kid asks for a io.EOF , mom says they have io.EOF at home. But at home? Just a goto statement lying on the bed. Classic Golang error handling bait and switch. The real crime here isn't the error handling—it's that someone's teaching their kid to use goto instead of proper error patterns. That's how you raise a future legacy code maintainer.

Ah, Golang's date formatting—the language where someone thought, "You know what developers need? More cognitive load!" Instead of using sensible formats like everyone else, Go decided that the reference date January 2, 2006 at 3:04:05 PM MST (01/02 03:04:05PM '06 -0700) would be their magic template. Want to format a date? Just remember which parts of this specific moment in time to use! It's like having to recite a magic incantation every time you need to print a simple timestamp. Seven years into using Go and I still have to Google this nonsense every single time.

When your coworker pronounces "main.go" as "mango" and you can't unhear it for the rest of your career. The worst part? You'll start doing it too. Next thing you know, your entire team is discussing "his mango" in meetings while management wonders if you've pivoted to fruit distribution.