Programmer Rizz: Git Commit To Love

This developer just casually created an "app skeleton" with 3,163 files changed and +637,124 lines of code in a SINGLE commit. That's not a skeleton—that's an entire digital cemetery! When most of us create a "skeleton app," we mean a few files and basic structure. This person apparently thinks "skeleton" means "fully formed creature with organs, skin, and probably its own consciousness." The PR is even marked "Ready to merge" with no reviews requested. Bold strategy—let's see if anyone survives the code review!

Ah, the classic programming trivia game that's trolling newbies! The answer is obviously "Hello, world" (highlighted in green), but the joke's in the other options. "Git gud" is both a gaming taunt AND a version control pun. "Download Linux" is what every Stack Overflow answer suggests when you have a Windows problem. And "Error 404" is what your career becomes after forgetting a semicolon. The title "Git Gud" is extra spicy because it's telling beginners they need to master Git (arguably more terrifying than any algorithm).

Ah, the unholy trinity of developer nightmares presented as dark magic symbols! These three commands represent career-ending mistakes that haunt the dreams of tech professionals: DROP DATABASE - The database equivalent of a tactical nuke. One second your data exists, the next second your resume is being updated. rm -rf /* - The Linux command that says "I'd like everything on this system deleted, please and thank you." Hope you enjoyed having files! git push --force - The team collaboration destroyer. Nothing says "my code is more important than everyone else's work" quite like overwriting the shared repository history. Execute any of these in production without a backup, and you might as well start practicing the phrase "Would you like fries with that?"

OH. MY. GOD. The bell curve of Git users is the most SAVAGE reality check ever! 😭 On the left and right edges? Those blessed, innocent souls with their simple git add/commit/push commands living in blissful ignorance. MUST BE NICE! But that poor tortured soul in the middle? HONEY, that's the rest of us drowning in a nightmare soup of --autosquash , --no-ff , and --strategy=recursive while our tears literally stream down our faces as we try to fix the unholy mess we've created. The absolute DRAMA of git replace bad-commit good-commit is sending me. Like, yes, please replace my terrible life choices with good ones while you're at it!

Romance blooming in the most unexpected repo. Guy meets future wife debugging code together, then someone warns him not to let others "branch her out." Because nothing says true love like finding someone who can actually push changes without breaking the build. The real relationship milestone isn't the first kiss—it's the first successful merge without conflicts.

Rewrote the entire codebase but called it "minor changes" in the commit message? Absolute chad move. Nothing says "I fear no code review" like casually pushing 4000 lines of changes directly to main with that description. The person who has to review this PR is probably contemplating a career change right now. It's the programming equivalent of renovating an entire house and telling your spouse you "just moved a few things around."