Git Push --Force: The Bridge To Nowhere

The GitHub contribution graph—where darker green means you're a coding machine and lighter green means you occasionally remember your password. The interviewer is confused because this guy's squares are dark green (meaning tons of commits) but somehow he has "less contributions." Plot twist: he's just really good at squashing 47 panicked debug commits into one elegant pull request. His smug "I got it right the first time" response is the programming equivalent of claiming you've never googled "how to center a div" or "what does NaN mean again?"

That face when someone suggests replacing Git with Excel. The silent scream of a thousand merge conflicts yet to come. Next they'll propose using PowerPoint for CI/CD pipelines because "it has nice transitions." Some people just want to watch the world burn—one corrupted spreadsheet at a time.

Finally, a Git command that matches what we're all thinking! This fake package lets you rewrite Git history to blame your bugs on someone else, complete with a savage "You're officially an asshole" confirmation message. Every senior dev has fantasized about this after inheriting legacy code from that one colleague who mysteriously left right before their spaghetti code exploded in production. The Linus Torvalds endorsement is just chef's kiss perfection - because nothing says "authentic Git experience" like casual profanity and shifting responsibility.

The sacred order of debugging has been disturbed. For eons, the ancient pact dictated that StackOverflow shall appear first in search results, offering salvation with copy-pastable solutions. Now GitHub shows up first, forcing you to actually read code and understand what's happening. Truly the darkest timeline. Next thing you know, they'll expect us to write documentation.

The horror movie villain meets his match in a programmer who's seen far worse than a single operator change. While normal people would panic at the "find the needle in a haystack" challenge, our developer just sits there with cold indifference. That ticking clock? Please. Programmers live with the constant existential dread of merge conflicts and production bugs that make Jigsaw's little game look like a kindergarten puzzle. The villain's frustration in the last panel is priceless—turns out psychological torture doesn't work on someone who regularly stares into the void of legacy code without documentation.

OMG, the AUDACITY of this person! 💀 They're literally looking at a GitHub repository—you know, the ENTIRE SOURCE CODE—and still asking "where's the exe file?" Honey, GitHub isn't the Windows 95 CD-ROM your grandma installed Minesweeper from! It's like walking into a bakery, seeing all the ingredients and recipes on display, and asking "where's my cake?" YOU HAVE TO BAKE IT YOURSELF, SWEETIE! This is why developers drink...