When Polygons Were Revolutionary

Ah, the eternal struggle of PC gamers waiting for the perfect discount. If it's not at least 90% off, might as well be full price. We'll just stay in bed, refreshing Steam every 8 minutes, waiting for that sweet indie game to hit rock-bottom pricing. Because paying $3.50 instead of $0.50 for a game we'll play for 200 hours is clearly financial irresponsibility.

BETHESDA STUDIOS, I'M BEGGING YOU! Stop re-releasing Skyrim and give us a new Elder Scrolls already! The audacity of rejecting a new game (TES VI) to instead milk every last septim out of Skyrim (14 years old) and now they're digging up MORROWIND (20 years old)!? I've bought Skyrim on more platforms than I've had relationships! At this point, Todd Howard could sell me a sweet roll in real life and I'd probably buy that too. THE HORSE ARMOR WAS JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE MADNESS!

The tweet claims OpenGL stands for "Good Luck" because you'll desperately need it when working with this graphics library. Anyone who's ever fought with shader compilation errors, platform-specific bugs, or tried deciphering the 900-page specification knows this pain intimately. The "GL" actually stands for "Graphics Library," but let's be honest—"Good Luck" is far more accurate when you're three hours into debugging why your triangles render upside down on AMD cards but not NVIDIA. The spiritual successor to "Works On My Machine™".

Ah, the classic "let me unmask this villain" meme perfectly captures modern game development! A 2006 game like Oblivion somehow takes up 120GB after being "remastered" (aka slapping on some prettier textures). But pull off that mask and—surprise!—it's actually Unreal Engine 5 bloating everything up like it's getting paid by the gigabyte. Remember when games fit on a single CD? Now you need to clear half your SSD just to install the main menu. The storage requirements are expanding faster than my coffee budget during debugging week.

Remember when 8GB VRAM was god-tier? Now it's the bare minimum for running those bloated AI models and rendering engines. $400 for entry-level specs that would've been flagship material a decade ago is the new normal. The hardware inflation is so bad that we're genuinely excited about mediocrity. Next we'll be celebrating when our IDE opens in under a minute.

Vatican City getting new leadership faster than Bethesda releases Elder Scrolls VI. At this rate, we'll have gone through an entire papal conclave, several holy years, and possibly the second coming before gamers get to see Tamriel again. The development cycle is so long that "Skyrim: Extremely Special Edition" will probably be released for smart refrigerators and quantum computers first.