Stealth Gaming: The Adobe Suite Edition

Gaming on PC means your wallet gets hunted more effectively than any monster in The Witcher. That -90% discount is the real magic spell here. Console gamers pay full price while PC gamers wait for Steam sales to transform $55 games into $5 impulse buys. The real monster slayer isn't Geralt - it's your empty bank account after you've bought 47 games you'll "definitely play someday." Truly the most dangerous prophecy of all.

The AUDACITY of that brain cell suggesting I transform my 3D game into some hand-drawn anime masterpiece! 💀 Like, excuse me?? I'm just a humble dev trying to make cubes move on screen, and suddenly my own brain expects me to become Miyazaki with a shader program?! The sheer TRAUMA of lying there, realizing I'd need approximately 17 new skillsets and possibly a deal with the devil to implement that feature. The silent darkness of the final panels is literally my soul leaving my body as I contemplate the 47 YouTube tutorials I'd need to watch before even attempting this monstrosity. And then—BOOM—enlightenment strikes! Time to update that LinkedIn profile with "actively seeking art and shader wizards who can compensate for my spectacular inadequacies."

Ah, the universal gamer solidarity against the bane of PC gaming existence. Nothing unites the gaming community quite like the collective disdain for having to install yet another launcher just to play a single game. Each publisher insisting you need their special software to launch their precious intellectual property. Origin, Ubisoft Connect, Epic Games Store, Rockstar, EA, 2K, Bethesda... it's like needing a different key for every door in your house. Meanwhile, your RAM weeps silently in the background as eight different launchers run simultaneously, each one updating when you least expect it. Just let me play the damn game already.

You spend months saving for that sweet GPU upgrade, finally ditching your ancient 4060TI for the shiny new 5070 with 50% more VRAM. You're on cloud nine! Then you make the fatal mistake of checking r/pcmasterrace the next day where some 16-year-old with daddy's credit card is explaining why "anything less than 24GB is basically unusable in 2024." The hardware rat race claims another victim.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of game publishers expecting us to throw our money at unfinished products! 💸 First they're like "Hey, pre-order this game that's basically just concept art and promises!" Then they hit you with the silent treatment when you say no. But WAIT! Suddenly they're back, BEGGING you to buy their stupid in-game currency with the world's most pathetic discount! 😱 It's the digital equivalent of a car salesman following you to your car with increasingly desperate offers. The gaming industry has literally turned into that clingy ex who just won't take a hint! And we're all just standing there with our wallets clutched to our chests, traumatized by years of buggy day-one releases.

Ah, the classic CS student interpretation of "make a game." Instead of creating Pac-Man or Tetris, this brilliant mind went straight for digital self-destruction. The code randomly generates a number between 0 and 5, and if it's 1 (which has a 1/6 chance), it deletes your Windows system folder. Nothing says "game over" quite like bricking your operating system! The professor asked for a game, not digital Russian roulette with your computer's vital organs. At least they named the file honestly - the only thing missing is a comment that says "// Do not run this unless you hate your computer and future self."