Posting On Reddit As An Indie Dev

OMG the AUDACITY of game engines charging $99.99 for the privilege of turning your character into a mechanical octopus, only to have it run at a PATHETIC 24 FPS! 😱 The journey from "look at my cool tentacle arms" to "WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE AND LAGGING" is the quintessential game dev experience. First they seduce you with those shiny Unreal powers, then BAM! Your graphics card is screaming for mercy while frantically suggesting driver updates like that's going to save your dumpster fire of a project. The modern gaming equivalent of "it worked on my machine" - except your machine is now melting through your desk. Truly the circle of game dev life!

Ah, the classic "queue position: 235,300,400" screen. That's not a player count—that's how many coffees you'll need before getting into the game. Remember when we thought 500 concurrent users was a stress test? Game companies now be like "let's invite the entire population of Earth minus New Zealand" to beta test. And they're shocked when their four potato servers burst into flames. Next time someone asks me to scale our app, I'm just gonna show them this and say "but can it handle Battlefield launch day traffic?"

Expectation: Crafting a sophisticated holographic globe interface that will revolutionize digital interaction. Reality: Spending 14 hours debugging why your virtual pumpkins won't grow unless you're standing in the exact coordinates (0,0) while frantically Googling "how to optimize nested if statements about fertilizer." The non-programmers in your life think you're building Minority Report interfaces. Meanwhile, you're just trying to figure out why your harvest() function sometimes plants trees instead. Such is the glamorous life of game development.

Behold, the pinnacle of game development: storing your entire storyline in a global array and using hardcoded indices to track plot points. Because who needs databases or state machines when you can just check if storyline_array[367] == 1 to determine if you've already done something? The real masterpiece is using instance_destroy() as your universal solution. Lunch with Fern? Destroy the instance. Already completed a task? Destroy the instance. Relationship problems? You guessed it— instance_destroy() . Meanwhile, poor Rhode gets the "Do Nothing" treatment. Clearly the developer's favorite character won the popularity contest. This code is basically the digital equivalent of writing your novel's plot points on sticky notes, scattering them across the floor, and numbering them randomly.

The eternal game engine wars continue! This dev has clearly switched allegiances from Unity to Godot, and isn't shy about declaring it. Can't blame them after Unity's pricing fiasco last year that sent devs running for the exits. Godot swooped in as the free, open-source alternative and suddenly everyone's new best friend. Nothing says "I've evolved as a developer" quite like dramatically announcing your game engine breakup on social media. The relationship status is definitely "it's complicated" with Unity these days.

Console gamers celebrating GTA 6's May 2026 release while PC gamers just sit there with the thousand-yard stare. Rockstar's two-year PC delay is basically tradition at this point - like getting stabbed twice for the same crime. First they take your money, then they take your dignity when you inevitably buy it again for PC. The gaming industry's most profitable form of Stockholm syndrome.