How Is It Going

OH. MY. GOD. Someone actually wrote a function to check if a number is even by hard-coding EVERY. SINGLE. CASE. 💀 The sheer AUDACITY of creating an "IsEven" function that could be solved with a simple "return number % 2 == 0" but instead choosing violence and writing 500 if-statements! The poor soul reviewing this code is having an existential crisis right there on stream! This is the kind of "optimization" that gets you both fired AND hired at Blizzard in the same day. Pure chaotic evil genius!

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute DRAMA of GPU upgrade culture! 😱 Someone has the AUDACITY to claim their "outdated" GPU needed upgrading, only to reveal they already had a top-tier 4070/4080/4090 or Radeon beast that most of us would SACRIFICE OUR FIRSTBORN for! The sheer BETRAYAL when someone with a $1500+ graphics card whines about needing an upgrade while the rest of us are nursing our ancient GTX 1060s like they're fragile Victorian children with consumption. THE NERVE! THE PRIVILEGE! Meanwhile, I'm over here with my GPU held together with prayers and thermal paste, begging it to run Notepad without crashing. 💀

Childhood: "I'll make the next World of Warcraft but with better graphics and cooler weapons!" Reality: Spending 6 months debugging collision detection only to have your game downloaded by your mom and that one supportive friend who gives it a 5-star review despite never making it past the loading screen. The gap between gaming fantasy and game dev reality is basically the distance between "I'm having fun" and "I'm questioning every life choice while staring at a semicolon for three hours."

The pinnacle of debugging assistance right here! Some poor dev is trying to fix a critical issue with... *checks notes*... a toolbox inside another toolbox in what's clearly a game. No logs, no details, just existential despair and a vague description that reads like it was written during a sugar crash. The real bug is this bug report. It's the equivalent of telling your doctor "something hurts somewhere sometimes" and expecting a precise diagnosis. Even better is the "Debug Information" section that's as empty as my will to live after reading this. Next time you think your documentation is insufficient, remember this masterpiece that managed to combine the eloquence of a toddler with the technical precision of a drunk fortune teller.

The flowchart of gamer desperation! This masterpiece maps out every possible financial scenario that inevitably leads to buying games on Steam. Broke? No job? No possessions? No problem! The algorithm always terminates at "BUY" because let's face it, your financial responsibility routine has more edge cases than a poorly written regex. My favorite path is the "BLASPHEMY" route – because nothing says "I'm a responsible adult" like cursing the capitalist system while simultaneously emptying your wallet during the Summer Sale. And if you've reached the "Do you have a soul?" decision node, you're already too far gone. Just accept your fate and prepare for your bank account to hit that recursion base case: zero.

DARLING, the computer said "Tell a programmer to up VERTEX_BUFFER_SIZE" and I am LITERALLY just the messenger! 💅 What am I supposed to do? Learn C++? Sacrifice my firstborn to the GPU gods? The error message has SPOKEN, and who am I—a mere mortal user—to question its divine wisdom? The audacity of this game engine thinking I have ANY idea what a "dynamic vertex buffer" is! It might as well have asked me to explain quantum physics while juggling flaming chainsaws. I'm just trying to play my game with friends named "asbestosmuncher" and "Cock of the Block" like any normal person!