Dad Programmer Humour

When stakeholders show up to meetings but their brains don't. Someone's asking about a checkbox that's been in the software for 11 YEARS as if it just appeared yesterday. This is the same energy as those people who file urgent tickets about "new bugs" that have been documented since the Clinton administration. The thumbs up reaction is from the developer who's been maintaining that checkbox since they were in college and is now contemplating a career in goat farming.

The eternal battle of date formats has claimed another victim of pedantry. While normal humans discuss candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach, developers immediately default to ISO 8601 (YYYY-MM-DD) – the only format that makes logical sense in a world of chaotic date standards. Let's be honest, anyone who's ever tried to parse MM/DD/YYYY vs DD/MM/YYYY in code has contemplated career changes. ISO 8601 is like the Switzerland of date formats – neutral, logical, and sorts chronologically when alphabetized. The perfect partner doesn't exist... except in standardized timestamp notation.

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THE ABSOLUTE HORROR of ordering pizza as a developer! Papa John's out here with their "{NAME}" and "{userEmail}" placeholders just raw-dogging it in production! 😱 The eternal struggle between hunger and witnessing someone's template variables that never got replaced. Meanwhile that little loading spinner is probably making a desperate API call to nowhere because SOMEONE FORGOT TO VALIDATE THE FORM DATA. The pizza might arrive, but my faith in their codebase certainly won't. And don't get me started on "Loading pick up info..." – honey, you can't pick up what your variables couldn't put down! 💅

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