Dad Programmer Humour

Remember when web development was just two cartoon characters chasing each other around your codebase? DOM manipulation with jQuery was the wild west of frontend—Tom frantically trying to select elements while Jerry kept escaping through event bubbling loopholes. Modern devs be like "I use React hooks and state management" while secretly missing the days when you could just $('#myElement').fadeIn() and call it a day. No virtual DOM, no component lifecycle—just pure chaos and that satisfying feeling when your animation finally worked. The circle of frontend life: spend years moving away from jQuery only to eventually rebuild it with extra steps.

Content YOU GET A JOB IT'S IN IT. THEY GIVE YOU A 7000 LAPTOP THEY ASK YOU TO EDIT IMAGES FOR THEIR WEBSITE USING PAIN maint much, but it's honest work,

The evolution of software engineering in its natural habitat! First, we have the innocent "Software Engineer" - just a regular Pooh bear doing honest work. Then there's the slightly pretentious "Sr Software Engineer" - same bear, just wearing a tux and acting fancy because they learned what a design pattern is. But the final form? The "pRoMpt eNgiNeEr" with that cursed ransom-note typography - it's just a deranged panda typing "make me a website that looks like Amazon but better" into ChatGPT and calling it coding. The tech industry's equivalent of ordering a pizza and claiming you made dinner.

Content Have you ever heard the tragity of Darth malloc the wise? I thought not. It's not a tale Java would tell you, It's a C legend. Malloc was a C function so powerful and so wise that it could use machine language to allocate memory itself. It had so much knowledge of machine code it could create dynamically sized arrays. Unfortunately he taught free everything he knew and one day free deallocated all of its memory. Ironic. It could allocate memory for others, but not itself.

Remember when developers were optimization wizards who could cram entire games into kilobytes? Now we've got frameworks that need a small data center just to print "Hello World." The left doge is the chad programmer of '96 flexing on fitting Pokémon Red into a mere 512kB cartridge—an actual miracle of code efficiency. Meanwhile, modern devs (right doge) are having existential crises because their JavaScript framework with 237 dependencies needs a gigabyte of RAM to display two words on a screen. Progress!

The mobile developer's version of "bring your kids to work day" gone horribly wrong. Someone just wrapped their children in a LiquidGlassView component, which I'm pretty sure violates both React Native best practices AND several childcare laws. The real tragedy? Those kids are now stuck with a terrible UI refresh rate and probably no escape method. Should've used ScrollView so they could at least swipe away from their parent's terrible coding decisions.