Fixed That For You

Look at me, taking a picture of ChatGPT instead of actually writing documentation. It's the modern dev equivalent of taking vacation photos of the information plaque instead of the actual mountain. Why spend hours documenting code when I can just ask an AI to do it later? Ten years of experience has taught me that future me will definitely understand what current me was thinking without proper docs. Totally. The irony of treating documentation like a distant, majestic view while the actual codebase is right there needing attention is just *chef's kiss*. We've evolved from "the code is self-documenting" to "the AI will document it for me."

Ah, the corporate onboarding paradox. You master in a week what management scheduled for a quarter, and your reward? Sitting idle while watching the parking meter expire on your motivation. It's like being the only person who studied for a group project and then getting told to wait while everyone else catches up. The SpongeBob ride perfectly captures that dead-eyed stare of a developer who could be building features but is instead counting ceiling tiles and reorganizing their desk drawer for the fifth time.

The classic corporate security theater in action! One dev tells another to "destroy all sensitive documents" and gets a reassuring "gotcha" in response. But what does our blue-tie hero actually destroy? The unit test report! Because who needs evidence of failing tests when you can just shred the evidence? It's the digital equivalent of sweeping bugs under the rug—except the rug is a paper shredder and the bugs are now "undocumented features." Security compliance: technically achieved.

The eternal developer paradox: screaming about too many new features while simultaneously working on a codebase so ancient it probably predates the internet. It's like complaining about your neighbor's loud music while refusing to replace your Windows 95 machine. The real horror isn't the legacy code—it's that moment when you realize you've become the office historian: "Let me tell you youngsters about the days before we had version control..."

The eternal corporate software development cycle in its natural habitat! First, a manager drops the mystical term "vibe coding" without any actual specifications. The dev somehow translates this cosmic brain request into actual code, only for the manager to "test" it without reading a single line of what was built. Then comes the inevitable bug complaints, followed by fixes, followed by more not-reading-the-code, and finally the chef's kiss: "good job but be faster next time" or a complimentary verbal beatdown. And just like your favorite trauma, it repeats indefinitely! It's like playing technical Whac-A-Mole where the mole is wearing a tie and has the power to schedule more meetings.

That face when your PM has absolutely no idea what's happening with the junior devs but needs to report something to the senior team. The grimace says it all - somewhere in the codebase, a junior is implementing a sorting algorithm with 17 nested for-loops while another is committing directly to production at 4:59 PM on Friday. Meanwhile, the PM is just trying to figure out how to spin "complete chaos" into "experiencing some minor technical challenges."