When my boss does not know the difference between coding and debugging

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal http:theoatmeal.com Windows Step I. Reboot Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step 2 Step a. Format hard drive. Reinstall Windows. Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step 2. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step 1. Learn to code in Ct. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a gant beard. Blame Sun Microsystems. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a n Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac Quietly weep.

Content What my resume says a day after I got laid off What my resume says after 7 months of applying for jobs I DID MY DOB. WROTE CODE, FIXED DEFECTS. ETC. I WAS SINGLE HANDEDLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HUNDREDS OF NEW CLIENTS, RESULTING IN BILLIONS OF NET NEW REVENUE. I WROTE ALL OUR CODE AND FIXED ALL THE DEFECTS FROM PAST DEVELOPERS. I INVENTED SAAS.

Content Me When I Copy The Exact Same Code From Tutorial And It Doesn't Work

Content runs the code 1 error fixes the error 6 errors 12 warnings

Content Pull requests issues Gist Search Repositories Code Issues ea Wikis 1 Users Languages Text HTML XML CSV JSON SOL JavaScriot Markdown Gettext Catalog 10.045 3,616 339 203.180 73.705 52.115 37.813 17.542 17.294 10.857 X 8.212 6.415 Advanced search Cheat sheet forgive me Search We've found 10,045 code results Sort: Best match y kaelzhangnode-stares - stares.js Showing the top two matches. Last indexed on 16 Sep. 'use strict': var expect require 'chai').expect: var crares reaire ..); Oh, forgive me, it will be killing me to write test cases with multiple processes. describe("master", function () JavaScript dtrombleemy-site - mainController.js Showing the top two matches. Last indexed on 23 Sep. angular gods, please forgive me angular.element(document.getElementById('view-master')).removeClass('hidden"); 7); thomasythuangBugatti - main.is Showing the top two matches. Last indexed on 21 Sep. I know this is really jank plz forgive ('location-form').attr ('action', 'accountdeletelocation'); JavaScript JavaScript

Remember when we actually knew how to code? Now we're just crawling helplessly on the floor when our IDE's autocomplete doesn't finish our sentences. "Oh no, I have to remember how to close my own brackets now!" The modern developer's equivalent of losing their glasses – suddenly blind to syntax errors and unable to remember if it's forEach or map without the friendly red squiggles to guide them. We've evolved from programmers to professional autocomplete managers.