Cat Debugs For Life

The classic "it works on my machine" defense, followed by the inevitable bloodbath when QA gets their hands on it. That moment when your perfectly functioning code suddenly develops sentience and chooses violence the second it touches a tester's machine. No amount of unit tests can prepare you for the mysterious environmental variables on Dave from QA's laptop that somehow still runs Windows Vista "because it's stable."

Ah, the classic "5% chance of random failure" pattern! This diabolical code snippet deliberately throws a NullReferenceException 5% of the time for absolutely no logical reason. It's basically the digital equivalent of putting a LEGO on the floor of your codebase - someone's going to step on it at 2 AM during a production emergency and scream. Pure evil genius for making QA testers question their sanity and giving future maintainers trust issues. The best part? The error message falsely suggests there's an actual null reference problem to debug when it's just RNG chaos!

Content 8 points 11 hours ago but if you have a bank or similiar and need 99.99 uptime no matter what happend, then an IBM mainframe is a very good choise. And IBm have a massive support organisation if you pay for it, they fix anything anytime of the day. permalink source embed save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments -2 points 11 hours ago (last edited 11 hours ago) You could also just hire a regular devops team with college-taught skills and have them build your redundancy on readily and widely available hardware backed by open source technology, which won't get you vendor-locked like the poor souls in the banking world You should avoid it choosing proprietary IBM technology at all cost. It's almost always a very bad choice. The only good reason for doing so is if you're already prisoner from having chosen IBM proprietary technology in the past and your team existing structure is already constructed around it. permalink source embed save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments 12 points 10 hours ago I'll take "who's never worked in a company with more than 6 people" for 100 permalink source embed save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments -3 points 1Pours ago My ass Every company under the sun is doing running and then monitoring their systems using an open source stack. Docker. Ansible. Jenkins. Nagios. Monit. Prometheus. K8. Grafana. Or a system backed by it. You've either only worked in very niche bubbles of the tech world or you don't know what you're talking about nermalnk source emhed save cave-RE narent renort give award renly hide child comments 13 points 8 hours ago Clearly you're not working in any serious company if they're relying on open source software. Dermalink source embed save save-RES parent report give award reply hide child comments ProarammerHumor.io

The eternal battle between "clean code" zealots and the pragmatic hackers who actually ship features. First panel: Someone proudly declares they like "clean code" - that magical unicorn every bootcamp graduate puts on their resume. Second panel: Someone dares to ask what that actually means. Third panel: "It means he's afraid of useful code" - the brutal truth bomb drops. Fourth panel: The clean coder desperately denies it. Final panels: And then we see the "scary" code - a fast inverse square root function that's actually efficient and solves a real problem, but doesn't follow the sacred "clean code" commandments. The horror! Nothing strikes fear into the heart of a "clean code" purist like a function that prioritizes performance over readability. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to make the damn thing work before the deadline.

The eternal developer paradox: spending four hours debugging when the solution was right there in the README all along. Nothing builds character like reinventing wheels at 2 AM while the documentation silently judges you from an unopened tab. The timestamp really sells it - clearly the wisdom that comes after you've already done it the hard way.

The moment you realize your "quick question" has unleashed a coding apocalypse. That senior dev typing for 10+ minutes isn't crafting a simple yes/no – they're writing your obituary in documentation form. Nothing strikes fear into a developer's heart quite like watching those three typing dots continue past the 30-second mark. At that point, you're not getting an answer – you're getting an essay on why your approach is fundamentally flawed, complete with architectural diagrams and references to design patterns you've never heard of. Pro tip: If you see "senior dev is typing..." for more than 2 minutes, start updating your resume.