Cat Debugs For Life

The duality of regex existence: writing it with scientific precision vs. reading it like you're trying to decipher alien hieroglyphics with a hammer. That moment when your carefully crafted pattern looks like pure genius during creation but transforms into complete gibberish when you revisit it three days later. It's basically the programming equivalent of drunk texting yourself.

When your resume says "Expert in Python, Java, and 10 other languages" but the HR algorithm only picked up "fluent in English." The team leader is all excited about your "perfectly skilled" profile while HR is just happy they found someone who can understand the company lunch menu. This is why we can't have nice things in tech recruitment. Those fancy AI-powered resume parsers that companies spend thousands on? Yeah, they're basically just CTRL+F with a business suit on. Meanwhile, qualified candidates walk right past because their resume didn't include the sacred keyword "synergy" exactly 7 times.

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome language It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like Out of scope The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution it works and lunderstand it We need to rewrite it it works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquit ESCIESCJC I don't know how to quit vi

That unique blend of terror and anticipation when you spot the landmine in your colleague's demo code. You're just sitting there, sweating, watching the cursor inch closer to that recursive function with no exit condition. Do you speak up and save them? Or silently witness the impending stack overflow that's about to bring the entire presentation to its knees? The internal dialogue is just: "Don't click that. Don't you dare click that. Aaaand... they clicked it."

Behold! The ultimate software engineer personality test that's more accurate than any Myers-Briggs nonsense! I'm DYING at "The Optimistic Estimator" because we've ALL been that delusional fool promising miracles in "2 days max!" only to still be debugging three weeks later, questioning our life choices. And don't get me started on "The 'Actually' Specialist" - that monster who waits until AFTER you've deployed to production to smugly inform you why your approach is fundamentally flawed. The AUDACITY! 💀 Personally, I fluctuate between "The 'It Depends' Guy" and "The Pragmatic Pessimist" - multiplying estimates by 3 and STILL delivering late is basically my toxic superpower at this point!

Content Eric Frohnhoefer (a EricFrohnhoefer - 2h Hot take 1 have spent 6yrs working on Twitter for Android and can say this is wrong. 1) Elon Musk elonmusk 5h Btw, I'd like to apologize for Twitter being super slow in many countries. App is doing 1000 poorly batched PCs just to render a home timeline! 9 44 12 37 509 Elon Musk elonmusk 5m Replying to EricFrohnhoefer Then please correct me. What is the right number? 156 17 56 1,145 Elon Musk elonmusk 3m Replying to elonmusk and EricFrohnhoefer Twitter is super slow on Android. What have you done to fix that? 121 17 27 526