This Little Maneuver Gonna Cost Us 51 Years

Content Ricky rickhanloni We don't need everyone to upgrade log4j, just enough for herd immunity to takeover 6:55 PM Dec 12, 2021 Twitter for iPhone 1,025 Retweets 107 Quote Tweets 5,119 Likes Ricky rickhanlonii Dec 12 Replying to rickhanlonii my repo my choice 3 tV 41 554 the squirrel in the tree ay A ( Dec 12 Replying to rickhanlonii do you really even know what's in those patches? could be worse than the actual vuln 9 4 17 21 377 ars Patch fixing critical Log4J 0-day has its own vulnerability that's under exploit If you've patched using Log4J 2.15.0, it's time to update again. Stat! by Dan Goodin - Dec 16, 2021 8:40am AEDT r Login to bookmark 10 Wikimedia CommonsAlex E. Promos Last Thursday, the world learned of an in-the-wild exploitation of a critical code-execution zero-day in Log4J, a logging utility used by just about every cloud service and enterprise network on the planet. Open- source developers quickly released an update that patched the flaw and urged all users to install it immediately. Now, researchers are reporting that there are at least two vulnerabilities in the patch, released as Log4J 2.15.0, and that attackers are actively exploiting one or both of them against real-world targets who have already applied the update. The researchers are urging

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of junior development in one UNO card! 😱 Left: A simple choice - "Read the Documentation Or Draw 25" Right: Junior dev with 25 FREAKING CARDS in hand, looking like they're about to collapse under the weight of their life choices! 💀 Because apparently skimming through 3 paragraphs of documentation is THE MOST HORRIFYING CONCEPT IN THE UNIVERSE compared to drowning in a sea of trial-and-error chaos for 6 hours straight! Who needs sanity when you can have the thrill of random Stack Overflow solutions?!

The horrified expression of the Senior Developer looking at the Junior Dev's code is priceless! That moment when you ask what's in their codebase and they casually reply "A smoothie" while sitting next to a monstrosity of deeply nested if statements is peak software engineering trauma. It's like opening someone's function and finding a 12-level deep conditional hell where each branch leads to another dimension of logic spaghetti. The Junior Dev has no idea they've created an eldritch horror that will summon the debugging gods at 2AM during production. Meanwhile, the ostrich perfectly represents the code review process - just stick your head in the sand and pretend you didn't see those 17 nested conditionals that could be replaced with a simple switch statement!

Classic QA engineer joke that never gets old because it's painfully accurate. We test for zero beers, integer overflow, negative values, random gibberish input—basically everything except "where's the bathroom?" because that's what actual users do. They don't follow your happy path; they ask questions your system wasn't designed to answer and suddenly your entire architecture is on fire. The real tragedy? QA finds 47 edge cases, you fix them all, feel like a hero, then production explodes because someone tried to use the app while their phone was upside down during a leap year. You can't win. The users will always find that one scenario you never imagined, and it'll be the dumbest thing you've ever heard, yet completely valid.

Compile with -w flag: zero errors, zero warnings. Compile without it: same zero errors but 5678 warnings. Management can't spot the difference because the code still runs. Welcome to production, where we ignore compiler warnings like we ignore our mental health. The real job security is being the only one who knows which warnings actually matter.

Silent programmer staring intensely at the screen... Object-oriented languages promised us a beautiful world of reusable components, inheritance hierarchies, and elegant abstractions. Meanwhile, half of us are still trying to figure out why our getter methods are returning undefined and why everything breaks when we touch that one class that somehow connects to 47 other classes. The deafening silence in response to "SCREAM IF YOU LOVE OBJECT ORIENTED LANGUAGES" is the most honest code review I've ever seen.