The Bug Survives Your Debugging Apocalypse

Content Programmer - Translation Guide What Progammers Say What Progammers Mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues obscure There are bugs in my code Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome It's my favorite language and it's really easy to language do something in it You're thinking in the It's my favourite language and it's really hard wrong mindset to do something in it I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Complex structure Someone else's code is badly organised My code is badly organised Bug Out of scope The absence of a feature I like The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how X Cquit ESCIESCTC I don't know how to quit vi Suboptimal implementation The worst errors ever inflicted on humankind That can't be done It can be done, but it's boring and I don't want to do it No problem, people do this all the time. It's an easy fix. You might be the most idiotic person I've ever encountered Put that bug in the backlog Let's agree nobody ever mentions it again and with low priority ppl who do, will be shot These test environments are too brittle Proof-of-Concept Works on my machine. Have you tried restarting it? What I wrote Perfect solution How Sales Marketing are promoting it

Content Code compiles: O Errors 1095 Warnings Wouldn't that make you NOT MY PROBLEM?

Content Robert Scoble and 6 others liked Edward Snowden Snowden 8h Coinbase spending 16,000,000 on a Superbowl ad to direct people to their website and O to make sure that website doesn't crash 10 seconds after the ad starts is so very internet. 986 17 8,265 72.3K

The eternal paradox of being a programmer: telling people you can't fix their printer, then fixing it anyway because of course you can. It's like saying you're not a doctor while performing open-heart surgery with a Swiss Army knife. The truth is, we've all mastered the arcane ritual of turning it off and on again—a skill mysteriously absent from 90% of the human population. Printers specifically exist in a quantum state of both working and not working until observed by someone with technical knowledge, at which point they suddenly behave perfectly.

The existential crisis of JavaScript in two panels. Top: sad face, "Nobody understands me." Bottom: sudden realization, "Maybe I'm JavaScript." JavaScript: the only language where [] == ![] is true, typeof NaN is "number", and adding arrays gives you strings. No wonder therapists refuse to take JS as a client – its issues are beyond professional help.

That sleek Lamborghini front? That's the elegant snippet you copied from Stack Overflow that actually works. The bus attached to it? That's the unholy monstrosity you cobbled together to make it fit your codebase. Twenty years in this industry and I've never seen a developer who hasn't built this automotive abomination at least once. The real skill isn't finding the perfect solution—it's making that solution coexist with your legacy spaghetti code without the whole thing bursting into flames during the demo.