Take It From A Big Problem To Not My Problem

The superhuman ability to spot a missing semicolon in someone else's 5000-line codebase vs. the complete blindness to your own glaringly obvious infinite loop that's been crashing production for three days. The cognitive dissonance is real! Your brain literally transforms into Patrick Star when reviewing your own masterpiece of spaghetti code. It's like having microscopic vision for others' syntax errors but developing sudden selective code blindness the moment you open your own pull request.

When someone yells "Is there a doctor?!" at an emergency, they're probably not looking for someone who can debug their code. The CS doctor's solution? Just set the old man's health to 100% like it's a simple property assignment! If only fixing human health was as easy as object.property = value . Unfortunately, human bodies don't respond to direct property manipulation—they require actual medical knowledge. That poor guy is about to find out the hard way that JavaScript can't save lives (unless it's the life of a web application).

The stick figure enthusiastically declares JavaScript as their favorite language, only to reveal why: JavaScript's infamous type coercion turns "11" + 1 into "111" (string concatenation) but "11" - 1 into 10 (numeric subtraction). This is the programming equivalent of falling in love with someone for their most chaotic trait. It's like saying "I adore this person because they alphabetize their bookshelf but organize their fridge by color." The drunk character in the corner just watching this madness unfold is every senior developer who's been burned by these quirks but has Stockholm syndrome at this point.

Accidentally opening full Visual Studio instead of VS Code is like launching a nuclear reactor when you just needed a light bulb. Your RAM collapses into a black hole, your CPU fans reach escape velocity, and what should have been a 2-second startup turns into enough time to brew coffee, redesign your entire life philosophy, and question every career choice that led to this moment. The 51 years isn't hyperbole—it's the perceived time it takes for all those enterprise features to load when you just wanted to edit a single config file.

That moment of existential horror when you open up code from six months ago and find your 17-paragraph manifesto explaining a single function. Past you really thought future you would need a dissertation on why you used a for-loop instead of map(). Bonus points if the comment is longer than the actual code and includes phrases like "DO NOT TOUCH THIS OR EVERYTHING WILL EXPLODE" and "I'm so sorry for whoever has to maintain this." Plot twist: it's still you.

Ah yes, the web development journey in four panels. "Learn to make a website" - sure, sounds fun! "Add the HTML" - easy peasy, just throw some tags around. "Add the CSS" - and that's where the villain origin story begins. The fourth panel showing pure existential dread is basically every frontend dev at 2AM trying to center a div. HTML is your obedient puppy, but CSS is that cat that knocks your coffee onto your keyboard while maintaining eye contact.