Let's Test Which Language Is Faster (At Failing)

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Oh. My. GOD. Trying to debug a regex pattern is LITERALLY like being an archaeologist deciphering ancient hieroglyphics with nothing but a magnifying glass and shattered dreams! You're squinting at a wall of mystical symbols like ^(?:([A-Z])(?![A-Z])|[a-z])+$ wondering what ancient deity you offended to deserve this punishment. One wrong character and your entire application implodes into a black hole of despair. And the worst part? When you finally figure it out, you'll have absolutely NO IDEA how you did it! Future you will look at that regex and weep uncontrollably.

Ah yes, the two types of developers in their natural habitat. One proudly declares "I'm merging it. fuck the tests" with the confidence of someone who's about to create tomorrow's emergency hotfix. Then there's the reply guy claiming "writing testcases for your code is doubting your own coding abilities. it's a sign of weakness." This is the software development equivalent of saying "helmets are for cowards" while riding a motorcycle blindfolded. Future you will be sending past you very strongly worded Slack messages at 2AM when production catches fire.

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Content NAS (OLD) Translation Guide What Progammers Sav What Progammers Mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Horrible hack that I wrote workaraound There are buas in vour code There are bugs in my code it has a few issues ODScure Someone else's code doesn't have comments call ocumen and My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome It's my favorite language and it's really easy to lanquage do something in it You're thinking in the It's my favourite language and it's really hard wrong mindset to do something in it I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organised Complex structure Bug My code is badly organised The absence of a feature I like The absence of a feature I don't like Out of scope Clean solution It works and I understand it We need to rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquitESCESCC I don't know how to quit vi Suboptimal implementation The worst errors ever inflicted on humankind That can't be done It can be done, but it's boring and I don't want to do it No problem, people do this You might be the most idiotic person I've ever all the time. It's an easy fix. encountered Put that bug in the backlog with low priority Let's agree nobody ever mentions it again and ppl who do, will be shot These test environments are too brittle Works on my machine. Have you tried restarting it? Proof-of-Concept What I wrote Perfect solution How Sales Marketing are promoting it DEI

Ah, the sweet moment of realization when you discover your worst enemy is actually yourself from two years ago. Nothing like ranting about "horrible functions" and "antipatterns" only to find git blame pointing directly back at you. The real senior developer milestone isn't writing perfect code—it's having the humility to admit that past-you was an absolute disaster who had no idea what they were doing. And future-you will think the same about present-you. It's the circle of code life.