Hotfix Successfully Applied In Production

Ah, the classic case of overengineering a solution for a problem that barely exists. Imagine using nanosecond precision for generating unique tokens in an app that only five people use, and STILL getting collisions. That's like bringing a nuclear warhead to kill a spider and somehow missing. For the uninitiated, a "nonce" is a number used just once in security protocols. Using nanoseconds (billionths of a second) should be massive overkill for uniqueness in a tiny app, yet somehow this dev defied probability itself. The cat's expression perfectly captures that moment of existential crisis when you realize the universe is conspiring against your code.

Content Laurie laurieontech Replying to laurieontech There are only two hard problems in programming: 1. Naming 3. Off by one errors 2. Race conditions 3:12 AM Dec 4, 2020 Twitter for iPhone 000

The existential crisis of every developer who's been handed a massive log dump at 4:30 PM. Your manager casually drops 10,000 lines of server logs on your lap with "just find the issue before you leave" energy. Like sure, I'll just develop superhuman parsing abilities and skip dinner with my family. The best part? When you finally find the error, it's always something ridiculous like a missing semicolon or someone deployed to production on a Friday. Next time I'm just responding with "grep it yourself" and turning off Slack.

Content Me spending 2 hours writing a good bug ticket, including a perfect code example to reproduce the error. Me after said ticket is closed 10 seconds later as a duplicate of a 6 year old ticket that is still open.

Ah yes, the infamous "I Promise To Cleanup After The Refactor" bridge. Just like how every developer swears they'll come back and clean up their temporary hacks after shipping the feature. Five years later, that "quick fix" is now a load-bearing monstrosity that nobody dares to touch. The bridge is still standing though, so technically it works in production! And just like legacy code, it's covered in the vines of technical debt that keep growing while management insists on building new features on top. Remember folks, temporary solutions are the most permanent architectural decisions you'll ever make.

Content Kyle Hill 2 days ago Subscribe Engineers "I made this highly precise and comprehensive technical blueprint so you know exactly how this works" Physicists 11 "It doesn't actually look like this, we're just simplifying the mathematical structure to make it easier for you to understand" Mathematicians This is a subset. I drew it like this so you wouldn't get any information from it. I've got no idea what's inside it - functions, words, bugs. Please stop asking it really doesn't matter. the red arrow represents a morphism ProarammerHumor.io