Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?

Content Mark Russinovich O markrussinovich Looks like I need to fix up my profile... Amazon Hiring SDE2 Backend Engineer NN amazon.com 5 - 6:57 Hi There, This is here from Amazon recruitment team. I found your profile while searching for Software Engineers who might be interested in Software Development Engineer I at Amazon. Hence, wanted to check if you are willing to consider the opportunity with Amazon? As I am willing to guide you through-out the interview process, preparation and help you to the best. Follow Mark Russinovich markrussinovich CTO of Microsoft Azure, author of novels Rogue Code, Zero Day and Trojan Horse, Windows Internals, Sysinternals utilities. Seattle, WA S markrussinovich.com

The secret training program for software bugs has finally been exposed! First, they learn basic arithmetic (and get it completely wrong). Then they master advanced math (still catastrophically incorrect). Finally, the graduation ceremony where they receive their mission: infiltrate our code and drive developers to the brink of insanity. It's like a glimpse into the conspiracy we've always suspected—bugs aren't random accidents, they're meticulously trained agents of chaos with a vendetta against clean code. The most terrifying part? Their wrong answers aren't even consistently wrong—they're unpredictably, maliciously wrong, just like in production environments!

Content Users who like Snapchat because it deletes messages ProdrammerHumor.io Devs who couldn't afford server storage

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting(E ALL); ini set ("displayerrors", true); printi'7xml version"1.0" encoding "UTF-8" 7'. "In"):?

Content QA reporting one bug they found You knowing there are 5 more Not impressed.

That magical moment when you stumble upon your ancient code and suddenly feel like a time-traveling archaeologist! 🧠✨ You stare at those cryptic functions thinking, "Wow, past me was actually a coding wizard?!" It's like finding a treasure map you wrote while sleepwalking - somehow it works brilliantly, but current you has absolutely NO IDEA how you pulled it off! The best part is when you're too scared to refactor because you might break the mysterious spell that keeps everything running. Past you: 1, Present you: 0!