Debug

Content Wanna be a programmer?? Muhammad Hasan Khan 1st Software Engineer - Opinions are my own 31 I fixed a bug today and after feeling satisfied with my accomplishment for the day, I decided to leave a bit early. As I was driving home, my brain started reviewing my code and found a mistake. I came home and fixed the mistake. And now that I'm about to go to bed, I just realized that there is a better way to fix the bug so I should just discard my earlier change and start over. Do you want to be a programmer? CEO 1,019 66 comments 22 shares

Content -ASKING AIRCRAFT DESIGNERS ABOUT AIRPLANE SAFETY: NOTHING IS EVER FOOLPROOF, BUT MODERN AIRLINERS ARE. INCREDIBLY RESILIENT. FLYING IS THE SAFEST WAY TO TRAVEL. ASKING BUILDING ENGINEERS ABOUT ELEVATOR SAFETY: ELEVATORS ARE PROTECTED BY MULTIPLE TRIED-AND-TESTED FAILSAFE MECHANISMS. THEY'RE NEARLY INCAPABLE OF FALLING. - ASKING SOFTWARE ENGINEERS ABOUT COMPUTERIZED VOTING: THAT'S TERRIFYING. WAIT, REALLY? DON'T TRUST VOTING SOFTWARE AND DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU IT'S SAFE. WHY? I DON'T QUITE KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS, BUT OUR ENTIRE FIELD IS BAD AT WHAT WE DO, AND IF YOU RELY ON US, EVERYONE WILL DIE. THEY SAY THEY'VE FIXED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED "BLOCKCHAIN. AAAAA!!! WHATEVER THEY SOLD YOU, DON'T TOUCH IT. BURY IT IN THE DESERT. WEAR GLOVES.

The eternal developer nightmare: Support team flexing like bodybuilders when reporting bugs, but turning into melted puddles when asked for reproduction steps. "It happens sometimes on Tuesdays when Mercury is in retrograde and the user clicks really fast while standing on one foot." And then they wonder why we close tickets as "Cannot Reproduce." Classic case of Schrödinger's Bug – it both exists and doesn't exist until someone documents it properly.

Ah, the sacred tomes of legacy code! A stack of books with the spine message "THESE BOOKS ARE HERE FOR AN ESSENTIAL STRUCTURAL PURPOSE. THEY ARE NOT FOR SALE." is basically the perfect metaphor for that 15-year-old codebase nobody understands but everyone's terrified to touch. Just like these books holding up some mysterious shelf, that spaghetti code written by a developer who left in 2008 is somehow keeping your entire production system from collapsing. Touch it? Refactor it? Don't be ridiculous! It's not meant to be understood—it's meant to be structural . The irony is delicious. We spend years learning clean code principles only to worship at the altar of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" when faced with the ancient scripts. The documentation? Oh, that left with Dave from Engineering years ago.

Content ASKING AIRCRAFT DESIGNERS ABOUT AIRPLANE SAFETY: NOTHING IS EVER FOOLPROOF, BUT MODERN AIRLINERS ARE INCREDIBLY RESILIENT. FLYING IS THE SAFEST WAY TO TRAVEL. ASKING BUILDING ENGINEERS ABOUT ELEVATOR SAFETY: ELEVATORS ARE PROTECTED BY MULTIPLE TRIED-AND-TESTED FAILSAFE MECHANISMS. THEY'RE NEARLY INCAPABLE OF FALLING. ASKING SOFTWARE ENGINEERS ABOUT COMPUTERIZED VOTING: THAT'S TERRIFYING. WAIT, REALLY? DON'T TRUST VOTING SOFTWARE AND DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE WHO TELLS YOU ITS SAFE. WHY? I DON'T QUITE KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS, BUT OUR ENTIRE FIELD IS BAD AT WHAT WE DO, AND IF YOU RELY ON US, EVERYONE WILL DIE. THEY SAY THEY'VE FIXED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED "BLOCKCHAIN" AAAAA!!! WHATEVER THEY SOLD YOU, DON'T TOUCH IT. BURY IT IN THE DESERT.' WEAR GLOVES.

OH. MY. GOD. This is literally the PHP developer's mantra in its purest form! While your codebase is LITERALLY ON FIRE with security vulnerabilities, deprecated functions, and spaghetti code that would make an Italian chef weep, you're just over here perfecting your eyeliner game! 💅 PHP devs have mastered the art of selective blindness - ignoring warnings, notices, and that one function that's been "temporarily" patched since PHP 5.3. Meanwhile, they're strutting around with their perfectly styled syntax, acting like they didn't just use a 15-year-old framework to build a modern web app! The gothic aesthetic is just *chef's kiss* perfect - because maintaining PHP in 2024 is basically a horror movie where you're both the victim AND the killer!