Computer scientist doesn't mean I fix computers, I can but it doesn't mean that

When you finally get that third monitor but realize your dragon wallpaper wasn't designed for this setup. Left screen: menacing. Middle screen: serious. Right screen: derpy as hell. Just like my code—starts strong, maintains dignity in the middle, then completely falls apart by the end of the function. The perfect metaphor for my project timeline estimates too.

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome language It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like Out of scope The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution it works and lunderstand it We need to rewrite it it works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquit ESCIESCJC I don't know how to quit vi

The classic C++ experience in four acts: compilation success, runtime catastrophe. Imagine thinking you've won because your code compiled without errors. That's like celebrating because your parachute folded nicely before discovering mid-jump that it's actually filled with confetti. The personified C++ language is basically gaslighting the programmer: "Zero syntax errors! You're good to go!" while secretly knowing the segmentation fault apocalypse awaits. It's the programming equivalent of "the food is perfectly safe" followed by violent food poisoning. Segmentation faults - where C++ reminds you that memory management is your problem, not hers.

Content TWONKS THAT'S A NASTY BUG YOU GOT THERE 5853530 FUCK YOU SNELSE

Content you write 60 you find out lines of code you could've and it works done it in 5 perfectly Dines you write You spend 30 these 5 lines minutes debugging it

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