Bug Amnesia

Content Mobile app for Iphone and Android Fixed-Price - Expert () - Est. Budget: 2,000 - Posted 6 days ago An app that can charge iphone and Android without the use of a charger 53 D Client: CSS ProgrammerHumor. i0 Skills: Android App Development Adobe Illustrator Adobe Photoshop

Top panel: Normal human being using proper random modules like a functioning member of society. Bottom panel: The unhinged developer who thinks return 4 is a perfectly acceptable random number generator because "it was randomly chosen by me, so technically it's random." Somewhere in production, a critical system is running on hardcoded "randomness" and nobody has noticed yet.

Content F YOU WANT TO BE SURE WHAT LINE THE ERROR IS ON Openins Mon Tue-Thu WRITE ALL YOUR CODE ON ONE LINE

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'

Content ZeroEcks ZeroEckscuties.cloud 0 2tim a fun trick I once learnt. If you are worried at some point that you will ever run out of hard drive space on a server (which would cause everything to come to a sudden grinding halt) Add ballast! I add a 20gb file on the root of the hard drive, I can then delete this in an emergency to buy myself enough time to sit down properly and fix it. sysadmin name: Create ballast community. general. filesi; path: ballast size: 20GB 17 34

The stick figure enthusiastically declares JavaScript as their favorite language, only to reveal why: JavaScript's infamous type coercion turns "11" + 1 into "111" (string concatenation) but "11" - 1 into 10 (numeric subtraction). This is the programming equivalent of falling in love with someone for their most chaotic trait. It's like saying "I adore this person because they alphabetize their bookshelf but organize their fridge by color." The drunk character in the corner just watching this madness unfold is every senior developer who's been burned by these quirks but has Stockholm syndrome at this point.