Now It Makes Sense

Content 7 hours ago 0 applicants Full-time Entry level I 10,001 employees Accounting You have a preferred skill badge Apply Save To qualify for the role, you must have Bachelor's degree in a technical field andor -equivalent work experience 10 years of client side JavaScript experience 3 years of Angular experience 7 years of Query experience 7 years of RESTful application development 10 years of HTML5 experience 10 years of CSS experience Familiarity with and the ability to apply Design Patterns

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Content Carla CodesCarla Don't ask SQL developers to help you move furniture. They drop tables.

Content Bartender North Italia Inbox Indeed 23:25 to me v Unsubscribe Hi lan, We came across your resume on Indeed and noticed your passion for technology and skills in JavaScript, SQL, and HTMLCSS. If you're interested in a Bartender position at North Italia, please feel free to apply now or view the job description for more details. I'm interested Not interested

Content Tweet Pavel Asparouhov Pavel Asparagus The long term implications of weird nerds becoming the new ruling class haven't been thought through 3:16 PM 1422 . Twitter Web App

Content A Time-Series Analysis of my Girlfriends Mood Swings Dr. Chad Broman' 'Department of Applied Psychological Machine Leaming, Cranberry-Lemon University, Pittsburgh, PA. USA Abstract Despite recent advances in active listening, date night, and extended pillow talk; it is becoming increasingly more difficult to forecast Tiffany's mood. With more and more Playstation 5 exclusive games, it is becoming increasingly important to determine Tiffany's mood before purchasing a new game and playing online Co-op with the boys every evening for a week straight. This paper aims to determine the optimal forecast model of my girlfriend's drastically growing mood swings by comparing simple moving averages, to sextuple exponential smoothing and even an overly complicated Machine Learning model. Despite initial analysis showing non-stationarity and highly seasonal mood swings. the more simple models provided less riskier forecast predictions when planning a three day bender after Matt got divorced. Keywords: Relationships, Time Series Analysis, Forecast Modeling. Playstation 5 Exclusives 1. Introduction find her endlessly scrolling through reddit for memes. facebook or instagram for jealousy, and twitter to keep up on Traditional methods of determining whether Tiffany is in a all the public officials and celebrities she hates the most. good mood has produced wildly subjective results causing dangerous outcomes such as her taking three hours to 1.2 Purpose respond to a text, flaking on nettlix and chill plans or even most disastrously having to return a speed boat even though Ever since her best friends started having kids and she got it was a great deal and an even better investment. promoted to a stressful corporate position she was not trained Just asking her if she's okay is not enough anymore. The for. it has become exponentially difficult to olan around only reliable method is to develop. test. verify. and Tiffany's emotional highs and lows. This is becoming not implement an extensive forecasting model by analyzing only problematic but is a problem that needs to be solved historical Tiffany mood swing data. immediately. To dispel any misconceptions, it's not about