Data Not Data: The Pronunciation Wars

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Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER In THE BEGINNINg, THERE WAS THE HEavEN AND THE EArTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NoT GOOD. THEN YOU SAID "LET ThErE BE LIGHT! BUT THE LIGHT Did NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE A HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART OF THE LAND TO CREATE DARKNESS, YoU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE MAINES BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, LIGHT BREAKS AS IS ACCIDENTALL LAND FLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS IT's THE ThiRD DAY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT THE CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USING COOKIES, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT WHICH UNFORTUNATELY NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER MAKES THEM MORTAL BUt The CLIent FORGOT To LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION THAT WATER. IT'S THE FOURTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C TO CREATE A BALLOON YOU ALSO USE STL TURNS OUT THE ISSUES FOR ABSTRACTIONS AND THaT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH FLAT EARTH DESIGN COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER! IT'S ThE FIFtH DaY YOU START ADDING PEOPLE TO HELP You. ON THe SIXTH DAY YoU LOOk AT THE CHAOS YOU CREATED DANGLING YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE REACT REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES (FUCKIT.JS' QUERY YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE- EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES DAYTIMEAIR.JS HORIZON SEA.JS REALISTIC.WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.J. BASE.JS ON THE SEVENTH DAY YoU REALLY WANT TO REST, BUT YOU NEED TO ORGANISE ALL You've CREATE GO TOGGL.COM

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Nothing says "responsible parenting" quite like abandoning your child with a mainframe computer from the 1970s and a COBOL manual! This is basically the programming equivalent of leaving your kid with dinosaurs as babysitters. That poor child is about to learn that semicolons aren't just for English class and that punch cards were the original "swipe right." The ultimate character-building exercise: debug COBOL or no dinner tonight! Honestly, this might explain why so many banking systems still run on ancient code - those traumatized children grew up and refused to ever touch the code again.

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