Data Not Data: The Pronunciation Wars

The media: "HACKERS BREACH TEA DATABASE IN SOPHISTICATED CYBERATTACK!" The actual "hack": requests.get(PUBLIC_URL) Nothing screams "senior developer energy" like seeing Python code that's just fetching publicly available JPG files being labeled a "hack." It's like calling yourself a master chef for successfully boiling water. The real security breach here is whoever decided that putting files in a publicly accessible URL with zero authentication was a good architecture decision. That person probably also uses "password123" and wonders why they keep getting "hacked."

Content I use Query It means he's afraid of the DOM document.getElementByld What does Query mean? No, it doesn't. Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring hims

When someone asks about the "perfect date," most people think romance, but developers think ISO 8601! The responder skipped candlelit dinners and went straight for DD/MM/YYYY formatting—because nothing says "I'm a programmer" like standardizing timestamp formats. The date format wars are real and brutal in codebases worldwide. MM/DD/YYYY fans are typing angry comments right now, while ISO 8601 (YYYY-MM-DD) enthusiasts are smugly nodding in their ergonomic chairs. The perfect relationship? One where you both agree on date formatting conventions.

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER IN THE BEGINNING, THERE WAS THE HEAVEN AND THE EaRTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NOT GOOD THEN YOU SAID "LET THERE BE LIGHT! BUT THE LIGHT DID NOT COMPILE. ON THE SECOND DAY. YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE A HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART THE LAND TO CREATE DARKNESS, YOU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUT THat's OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, LIGHT BREAKS AS LAND IS ACCIDENTALL: FLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT's The thiRd DaY. TURNS OUT THE CREATURES NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER BUT THE CLIENT FORGOT to MENTION THAT You TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USING COOKIES THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT UNFORTUNATELY MAKES TuSM MORTAL LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE WATFO IT's THE FOURTH DAY. TURNS OUT THE ISSUES WERE CAUSED BY THE FLAT EARTH DESIGN YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE STI TO CREATE A BALLOON FOR ABSTRACTIONS, AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT wITH NO COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER! IT'S THE FIFTH DaY YOU START ADDING PEOPLE TO HELP YoU. ON THE SIXTH DAY YoU LOOK AT THE CHAOS YOU CREATED DANGLING I YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES JESUS. REACT FUCKIT.JS) QUERY YOU ATTEmPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING BUT IT IS TOO LATE - EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES. DAYTIMEAIR.JS SEA.JS REALISTIC.WAVES. JS gETTERBANKS.J BASE. JS GIRAFFE.JS ON ThE SEVENTH DAY You realLy want to REST, BUT YOU NEED oRGanISe aLL You've CreaTeD MONGODB TOGGL.COM MaRT VIRKUS ProdrammerHumor.io

Content Debating how to pronounce "SQL" Debating how to pronounce "FAQ"

Content Stephen Gower As someone who has been developing websites since NCSA Mosaic was the only browser available, I'd just like to say that I'm really fcking tired of all the smart assholes out there continuously developing entirely new ways to build web applications. It started simple enough, just html and javascript. Then Cold Fusion. Then java applets. Then java servlets. Then 5 or 6 different Java application servers, EJBs, JSP, struts, XSLT, PHP. But screw all of that. We need Spring. No wait, we need Ruby.and Rails. Wait, we need Query. screw Query. We need AngularJs, and Backbone, and Ember! The world just won't be right until we have 12 different ways to do the same thing in Javascript! Forget all those server-side things you learned. Node js is here! No-wait. F'ck Node. Use Google Go! Honestly how many times are we going to re-invent this wheel? Unless you stay current with all of this nonsense, you basically become unhireable. I'm sure some of you 20 and 30-somethings have already experienced some of this fatigue. Now just imaging 10-15 more years where every 3 years a good portion of what you learned before is now obsolete, and you'll feel like I do.