I Like My Fun Main Args String

When someone claims they "use C++ in JavaScript," you expect some horrifying abomination of code. But then they show a basic for loop with C++ style increment (c++) and suddenly everyone's laughing because it's the most innocent dad joke in programming history. It's like telling people you know kung fu and then just waving your arms around making "whoosh" sounds. The audacity of this pun deserves both a standing ovation and immediate revocation of coding privileges.

Ah yes, C programming at its finest—writing a C program whose sole purpose is to create and execute a bash script. Because why use one language when you can use two? This developer is basically using a nuclear submarine to cross a puddle. The irony is delicious. The code claims "Programming in C is easy" while demonstrating the most convoluted way possible to print "hello world"—by having C generate a bash script with execute permissions, which then prints the message. It's like building a machine that builds a machine that ties your shoelaces. Four system calls when a single printf would do. This is the programming equivalent of taking a flight from New York to Boston with a layover in Tokyo.

Someone's job security strategy is absolutely chef's kiss . Instead of writing clean, maintainable code, they've created a function that always returns 2, labeled it as "job security," and then made two helper functions that literally copy memory addresses to change the return value. Nothing says "I'll never be fired" like writing code that only you understand and using memcpy() to overwrite function implementations instead of, you know, just changing the original function. Because why write one line of code when you can write twenty that require a hazmat suit to maintain? Bonus points for the "NEVER call this function" comments that scream "I'm the only one who knows which landmines not to step on." Pure evil genius at work here.

The sacred covenant of loop variables! Since the dawn of computer science, the variables 'i', 'j', and 'k' have been the chosen ones for iteration. Questioning this tradition is like asking why water is wet. It's not just convention—it's hardwired into programmer DNA at this point. Try using 'foo' or 'counter' in your loops and watch your colleagues break out in hives. The compiler probably judges you silently too. Some say Dijkstra himself decreed this naming convention, and we dare not anger the algorithm gods.

The pinnacle of language optimization right here. When told C is faster, this Python dev just wrote C code that... calls Python. It's like buying a Ferrari just to tow your bicycle to the race. The system call is literally saying "Hey C, can you ask Python to print Hello World for me?" This is what happens when you take "use the right tool for the job" and interpret it as "use all tools simultaneously for every job."

The tech world's political compass has arrived! It perfectly maps the eternal developer civil war across two axes: Freedom vs. Proprietary and Tradition vs. Disruption. Top-left quadrant (Libredev): Home to the free software purists with their GNU/Linux laptops, Emacs, and C language. The kind of developers who write 5000-word emails about why you should call it "GNU plus Linux" instead of just "Linux." Top-right quadrant (Cogdev): Corporate warriors wielding C#, Visual Studio, and Windows. These folks genuinely believe Microsoft's "embrace, extend, extinguish" was just a phase, like their teenage goth years. Bottom-right quadrant (Sovdev): The Apple ecosystem disciples and JavaScript framework hoppers. They'll pay $3000 for a laptop with 8GB RAM and then tell you it's "optimized." Their GitHub profile is their entire personality. Bottom-left quadrant (Hypedev): The bleeding-edge rebels running experimental tech stacks that will probably be abandoned next Tuesday. They've rewritten their personal website in 17 different frameworks this year alone. Which quadrant are you in? Don't answer—your choice of text editor already told me everything I need to know.