The Two Faces Of Web Development

Content Python programmer looking at my C code "Bro, what are those comments at the start of your program?"

Content libreddit-ndk.so - Hide stuff in native library! Nobody can ever read native code, no matter how simple! Put a dummy parameter in the calls from the Kotlin code so people will think something deep is going on: KeyUtil.decryptSigningKey("a0c1e177d7afd4faaaee14f6ef712917c576a33dccd7381c63fed3312658bd8"); Actually always returns "8c7abaa5f905f70400c81bf3a1a10175f72101041991f0c5240aa80c4d99d" string JavacomredditauthcommonutilKeyUtildecryptSigningKey(JNIEnvenv,jclassunused,jstringfakeandunused) char keystr (char )malloc(66) ; Malloc? It's just 66 bytes, use a local variable, stupid. for(int i 0; i 65; i) keystri mapkeyill; A substitution cipher.. height of cryptography in the year 300 BC. keystr 65 0; Null-terminate the string return env-NewStringUTF(env, keystr); Native memory allocations aren't garbage-collected, idiots, you need to call free() Now you're leaking memory on every single API request! String parameter is ignored, always returns "s3ybk2jbEg4BmxQqvqgXoGs3AOUHUH8y" On the Kotlin side we just change a few chars at the start and end of the dummy string: KevUtil. decryptiphyApKey( "uty893a3d7af d4faaaee14f6ef712917c576a33dccd7381c63fed331scukko8" ); surely nobody will notice the 'encrypted' parameters are remarkably similar: jstring Javacomreddit mediacommonapikeys KeyutildecryptGiphyApiKey (JNIEnv env, jclass unused, jstring fake and unused) char keystr (char )malloc (34); Again with the same stupidity for (int i 0; i 33; i) keystri giphymapgiphykeyi; keystr33 0; return env-NewStringUTF(env, keystr); Again the same bug. ProdrammerHumor.io

Content 1 Am Devloper iamdevloper Roses are red And so are you Violets are blue Asynchronous operations are great 15:53 14 Feb 19 Twitter Web App 1,993 Retweets 6,207 Likes

Content Hacker: I have all of your passwords Me who forgot them:

Content Ben benjavaguy Jun 1 Can anyone help me find out why my web app isn't working? http:localhost:8080tutorial01welcome.jsp 1 17 6 rahmesh rahmesh1998 Jun 1 You've got an error in your SQL statement. You need to use a single for an equality check, not . 17 4 Ben benjavaguy Jun 1 Doh! Working now. Thanks, man. 17 0 1

THE DUALITY OF DEVELOPERS IS SENDING ME! 💀 Left side: Game dev with MUSCLES FOR DAYS thinking they're God's gift to programming. "I'll just BUILD MY OWN ENGINE from scratch!" Meanwhile, they're probably still debugging collision detection three years later. Right side: Backend devs LITERALLY CRYING while Ruby on Rails crashes for the 47th time today. The tears! The drama! The existential crisis when your production server implodes because you dared to update a gem! And yet... we keep coming back for more punishment. It's like a toxic relationship with semicolons and brackets!