I'm Doing My Part (Against AWS)

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The cloud revolution has turned every sysadmin into Grandpa Simpson. Remember when we had to physically touch our servers? When DNS issues meant actual phone calls? Now we're just shouting at AWS outages, GCP pricing surprises, and Azure's console that redesigns itself every 3 months. We've gone from racking servers to arguing with JSON files and wondering why our bill suddenly doubled because we forgot to terminate that one instance running in us-east-1. The future is here—it's just abstracted, expensive, and makes us yell at the sky.

The bell curve of DevOps wisdom. On both extremes (with IQs of 55 and 145), you've got the enlightened ones who know the truth: just blame AWS and chill. Meanwhile, the average 100 IQ middle-managers are sweating bullets about "hosting in-house" like it's 2005 and they just discovered server racks. The true galaxy brains understand that when your cloud provider inevitably goes down, you can just post the AWS status page in Slack and take an early lunch.

Content v I saved my company 100k a month by switching from AWS to Localhost! ? 5:20 AM Jul 29, 2020 Twitter Web App

When your relatives discover you "work with computers," you become the default IT support. The sheer frustration of explaining that their laptop freezing has nothing to do with Amazon Web Services being down is a special kind of pain. It's like trying to convince someone that their toaster isn't working because NASA's satellite is offline. The blank stare you get in return is the universal signal that they've mentally filed your explanation under "techno-babble excuses" while still expecting you to fix their 10-year-old malware-infested machine.

You know that moment when you've burned through your entire cloud credits trial and finally look at what you actually built? That primitive cave-dweller confusion hits hard. "What language is this? Did I write this garbage? Why are there 47 nested if-statements?" Nothing quite matches the primal horror of seeing your own code after the dopamine of free resources wears off. Suddenly your "revolutionary" app looks like it was written by someone banging rocks together while grunting "API good, callback bad."